God answers my prayers

After praying and posting my writer's lament, I went to bed. I don't remember how well I slept, but I know what was still on my mind when I awoke: I thought it would be different this time. Better. A positive experience. Instead it's the same. Or worse. Probably seems worse because I had such high hopes. But I didn't think I had high hopes. I thought I had realistic expectations. 

Fortunately, I confronted these thoughts with Scripture and a devotional reading. Again, my go-to was Jesus Calling, where these were the Bible readings for the day:

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. 
—Isaiah 40:31

One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. 
—Psalm 27:4

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 
—Philippians 4:8

That was a major step toward what I hope and pray continues to be freedom from some of my self-doubt and struggles.

But I think the bigger key to the door of freedom came later that Wednesday when friends lovingly but directly helped me face truth in a word: Perfectionism.

And before I knew it, my daily spiritual readings and Bible verses were reinforcing that truth.

Jesus Calling: "Anticipate coming face to face with impossibilities: situations totally beyond your ability to handle. This awareness of your inadequacy is not something you should try to evade. It is precisely where I want you—the best place to encounter Me in My Glory and Power. When you see armies of problems marching toward you, cry out to Me! Allow Me to fight for you. Watch Me working on your behalf, as you rest in the shadow of My Almighty Presence."

Yet man is born to trouble as surely as sparks fly upward. 
—Job 5:7

After this I heard what sounded like the roar of a great multitude in heaven shouting: “Hallelujah! Salvation and glory and power belong to our God.” 
—Revelation 19:1

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 
—Psalm 91:1

But what really helped me was Friday's focus from First15.org.  The subject was forgiving others and not expecting them to be perfect. But all the words identified my weakness.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of  God.” Romans 3:23

These were some really helpful words from Craig Denison's commentary: "One of the most vital aspects of offering continual forgiveness is living without expectation of perfection from others. You will never meet a perfect human. All of us suffer from the same sinful, broken condition. And as believers, our lives are a reflection of God’s grace transforming what was once wholly sinful into pictures of his love. Even in this reflection, we will never experience perfection until we pass from this world to the next and live in perfect, uninhibited relationship with our heavenly Father. "Along with freeing others from the expectation of perfection, if we will offer ourselves the same grace and mercy that our heavenly Father does, we will experience new levels of joy and freedom. While God has offered us a path to total freedom from sin, he has the fullness of compassion for our weaknesses. Don’t strive for perfection in your works, but instead pursue a deeper relationship with the God of love and grace. You weren’t created to live perfectly in your own strength, but to know the love of the Father and allow him to empower you for the life to which you have been called. May you free yourself from the burden of perfection today and pursue greater intimacy with your heavenly Father." “Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins.” Ecclesiastes 7:20 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23 Author's note: I guess I should mention that I did complete the writing project that caused so much lamentation. The main story on Christian vocal quartet Point of Grace was published Aug. 19 in the print and online editions of The Oklahoman. A related piece was published online only, on the Faith & Values blog at NewsOK.com.   Point of Grace story   Point of Grace sidebar