God doesn't give up

The words still aren't coming together for blog posts.

What I'm posting instead is just excerpts from Facebook posts from last night and this morning, the latter of which they came in an onslaught!

From last night: It seems like ages since I’ve sung a solo in public, and especially without standing behind a lectern or pulpit with the lyrics in easy view. I practiced several times and got all the words right — or at least close enough to make sense. But there’s no time like showtime to let the memory lapse. Fortunately, my friends at the Goodrich Memorial United Methodist Church chili cook-off and talent show are the most gracious audience in the world!! Also fortunately (at least I hope), I probably won’t let my far from polished style (or lack thereof!) keep me from looking for places where I can sing to inspire, encourage or offer praise and worship to God!

Singing continues to be humbling and mystifying and fulfilling and so  much more for me. It bares my soul and exposes my flaws. I don't expect to be perfect, but I sure would like to come closer than I do! But am I willing to put in the effort to be better? Here we go again ....

Why can't I accept that God might like me just the way I am? He wants me to trust Him. He's not leading me to take lessons or invest more time and energy into singing, at least not right now. He wants to use me right where I am. It is my own perfectionism and expectations that stand in the way.

From this morning, after reading the daily devotional from Proverbs 31 ministries about waiting with God: I’m grateful God doesn’t give up on me or toss me aside — whether I’m slow to act, too quick to interfere or just stuck in the mire of trying to figure things out for myself rather than pray, trust, obey and praise!

Just a few minutes after that, my Facebook memories brought up a link to last year's blog post on this date, which reminded me that God puts me in the right place at the right time.

And the next memory brought tears, with an album of 17 pictures of the beloved kitty, Bridget, who I had to let go due to kidney failure five years ago:  I’ve been five years without cat now. Bridget is still the cover photo on my Facebook page. God is still at work here, I feel Him assure me through unexpected tears.

Fortunately, I was able to go from there to spend time with a prayer group at church. After that, I was able to visit a friend in the nursing home and sing words of encouragement and faith. There were other things, too, and many were good. But I struggle not to shift my thoughts to all the things I didn't get done, or questions about whether I did the right things.

So, again: I’m grateful God doesn’t give up on me or toss me aside — whether I’m slow to act, too quick to interfere or just stuck in the mire of trying to figure things out for myself rather than pray, trust, obey and praise!