Silencing the critic

How did I become such a critic? I’ve become shamefully aware that rather than appreciating the creative gifts of artists such as singers and writers, I have a tendency to evaluate and judge. 

I think it stems from my self-criticism and evaluation, which likely is based in a fear of not being good enough. I stay aware of my shortcomings so I won’t be surprised if others mention them. The fact that I harshly judge myself isn’t a valid excuse for judging others. In fact, I don’t need to be judging myself so harshly either.

Some of what Lysa TerKeurst writes about in her new book, "It's Not Supposed To Be This Way," has brought this into sharper focus for me.

I don’t know whether I’m actually being more critical of others than usual, or I’m just more aware of how critical I have become. I do know it’s a hard habit to break. 

Tonight, as I was watching “The Voice,” I heard myself starting to say I didn’t like a beautiful young singer with a delightful voice because I doubted her authenticity. I caught myself and stopped, embarrassed to realize I had gone beyond judging her talent to judging her heart and integrity. Then I wondered aloud to my husband if these live competition shows invite such criticism — perhaps they provide an acceptable outlet for my inner critic to express. He just looked at me, as if he could not even relate to my question. I concluded I don’t need to be judging, at least not at this point in my life. 

This doesn’t mean there won’t ever be times where my honest opinion about the quality or appeal of a project or situation might have value. I do think I need to practice restraint, even if asked.

In this and all things, I pray to become a person who trusts God to be the only judge. I see my role as to do good, which can include looking for the good in any situation and offering affirmation and support. In most cases, if I can't think of something positive to bring to the situation, I should probably keep my thoughts to myself. (That, I've discovered, is what really makes it hard for me: I like to share my thoughts and opinions. The other pitfall I'm learning to recognize is that sometimes I think an observation is interesting or insightful rather than critical, and yet it is received as an insult or, at best, a backhanded compliment.)

I need and want to accept the creative gifts of artists. I need and want to be eager to return the grace and support with which my creative gifts most often are received. I want to be supportive rather than critical. I regret that I’ve strayed so far that this now seems difficult. I pray for God to help me respond to these precious creative gifts with eyes to see and ears to hear and a heart to experience as He does — with love, grace and affirmation.