Never.ever.give.up

I am second-guessing myself more than ever in some areas of my life. Too often lately, almost immediately after I make some well-intentioned comment that is intended to be positive, helpful and supportive, I realize how it could be misconstrued as criticizing, judging,  complaining or interfering with another person's business.  

Fortunately, those are areas in which I think I still have room and time to learn and grow. 

An area of greater confusion is finally clear. I never quit trying and praying, but my hope and effort had certainly diminished. And then the miracle happened.

Never.ever.give.up. It's more than a baseball team slogan. It gives me hope in all areas of my life. 

Nothing changes if nothing changes

It's time for action. Nothing changes if nothing changes. 

What can I do differently? 

I still don't know the answer, but I hope to find out as I go.

I'm praying and striving to maintain a positive and grateful attitude and willingness to change.

And as always I need to trust God. Trust God. Trust God. 

This says it better than I can

1 Corinthians 13

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. ... 

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

What God Allows

God redeems what He allows. That's a concept that has stayed with me since I read it a year or two ago in writings of Jim Denison, on his Denison Forum on Faith and Culture. 

My choices are my own, not God's. I've made poor choices even as I've continued to pray. 

And God constantly works to redeem my actions, to work things for good, to make it right.

I am currently experiencing that in a major way. 

What I want to shout from the highest hill: never give up on God. 

And, perhaps related to the second of Christ's most important commandments: never give up on people. 

Never stop praying and believing and working in whatever way you can, even if it seems small, to know and do God's will. Even if it seems impossible that you can resolve a bad situation, don't rule out what God can do. 

I believe I am seeing answers to a lifetime of sometimes feeble prayers. 

I pray it is so. And I thank God that it is even possible. 

One more chance

Not much new to report. Still standing in the need of God's mercy, love and grace, and praying in faith that I will receive the gifts he offers, one moment at a time. Among those gifts is one more chance to be the person I believe I am. 

Ok, I guess I should add: Grief is a many layered and complex thing. I must not deceive myself about that. 

Standing in the need of prayer

Maybe I'm finally, truly putting my faith in God. Time will tell. I pray that God will find me faithful. I am truly unworthy of another chance. But the Father runs to embrace His prodigal children, even if they only come to their senses and repent because they can no longer deceive themselves about the pain their choices are causing so many people. 

I'm grateful to God. And I'm praying in faith that His sovereign love, mercy and grace can heal and protect and raise up all standing in the need of His mercy, love, grace and healing. 

‘Just a Few of Our Favorite Things’

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Tribute to Mom (Alice Davidson)

Aug. 16, 2015

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The tune was “Edelweiss,” but the inspiration was “The Sound of Music” and “My Favorite Things” or, more accurately, Our Favorite Things About Mom.

And it became clear pretty quickly they wouldn’t fit nicely into a few rhymed couplets. And thus we get the story behind the song.

The question that was asked: What are some of your favorite things about Mom?

So, on the occasion of the 80th birthday of Alice Ruth Siegmund Davidson (Mom) ... a celebration of family, faith and friends ... inspired by the sweet music of life that has flowed from her heart and soul:

Here are “Just a Few of Our Favorite Things” about her.

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UNCONDITIONAL LOVE – Seeing the best, never giving up: In her parents, siblings and extended family of origin ... In the family she married into … In the family she and Daddy gave birth to and that continues to flourish and grow through new generations.

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If she ever feels disappointment, she quickly or slowly lets it go. (I may think I disappoint her sometimes, but when I express this, she quickly convinces me otherwise.) I know of only a few grudges she ever held for long, and I doubt she holds any now. 'Taint worthwhile, I can imagine her saying.

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Singing in the car. Taking us to church and making that a life priority for us.

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Stressing the importance of education and knowing that she thought we were smart and didn't hesitate to tell others. I also thought I had the prettiest mom when I was in school and I still do. I had family, faith and friends put on her cake, what seemed to me to be her priorities.

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Morning walks on the farm, folksy Facebook posts. … the bread and the special homecooked meals. … windmills and wildflowers …

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Home movies, “pink things” perms. Though the last is not really a favorite. Just something I remember ;)

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Appreciation for reading (books, newspapers, the Bible, Sunday school lessons and other inspirational and faithful devotions).

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Sunday dinner or picnics after church at the roadside park between Muenster and St. Jo. … Coming home from church to the smell of roast in the oven, with onion-mushroom gravy. Mashed potatoes (the real ones, not those from a box!!!) … Lots of fruit cocktail cherry jello. … fried Spam (as opposed to the dreaded plain Spam); but what I really liked was the pan-fried ham and anything smothered in cream of mushroom soup.

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Mom could cut a chicken into about 20 pieces. I didn’t know you could cook one in halves or even quarters until I was probably a teenager.

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I love that she was born into the Siegmund family and that she married into the Davidson family, with rural and small-town Texas roots. Era, Muenster, Hood, Walnut Bend, Hayes, Marysville, St. Jo, Gainesville. She enjoys traveling and experiencing other places, but she’s still on the farm! And yet, I think if she had been born into a different set of circumstances but with the same people, she would have made just as much of it and we would still have the same values!!!

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Substance over style. And yet, so much style! Through it all, a smile.

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Always there. Always fair.

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I don’t know whether I knew this growing up, but as an adult, I know that Mom has no favorites – or we all are her favorites. Her unconditional and complete love and appreciation for each of us (and the grandkids and great-grandkids and all the spouses) continues to grow.

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A peacemaker with a smile.

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Willing to help, even if it takes a while!

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So much patience and acceptance.

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A recent comment from Mom on Facebook, after a gorgeous picture was posted from her young-adult days: She got around, in a good way!

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Smart. Beautiful. Wise. Wry. Happy. Resourceful. Helpful. Persevering. Respectful and respected.

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Encouraging – our greatest cheerleader!

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Not afraid to share wisdom, advice, opinions and maybe some gossip, but always with sensitivity to the situation.

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Willing to back off, let her kids and others have their space and find their way.

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Ability to talk to anyone about anything.

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Unwavering faith and trust in God.

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Perhaps above all, that combination of faith, optimism, confidence, integrity, humility, gratitude and so many other things that looks for, sees and builds up the good in any situation and lets go of the rest. And as a result, it does seem as if it’s all good, that the memories are precious and each new day is a gift filled with promise.