Incomprehensible

I just don't do holidays well. I try to write about how this is for me in hopes I can explain and understand it. But so far I cannot find words. 

This is especially true at Thanksgiving. 

As I've written several times this week: I count my blessings every day. I express gratitude to God and also try to make sure those around me know I don't take blessings and kindness for granted. 

But words and expressions seem inadequate. 

I guess what it boils down to is that I do not feel worthy of the abundance with which God has blessed me. 

Family. Faith. Friends. Health. Love. Comfort. Security. A positive outlook. Compassion. More material resources than I know what to do with. A reasonable measure of intelligence. 

But something seems missing in my understanding of how to connect all that to what God's plan is for me; to return God's blessings to His glory. 

I feel like the message of Craig Denison's First 15 was meant to guide me today, but I'm sure I fell short. 

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. Philippians 2:3-6

And later: 

God is calling us to a lifestyle of love. To be poor in spirit is to “count others more significant than yourselves.” A common misconception in living low is that we must try and find ways that we are worse than others. God is not about comparison. His ways are not like ours. Rather, he is calling us to stop looking to ourselves at all and solely look to the significance of others. Jesus knew he was sinless. He knew he was God. Still, he counted others more significant because of his love and grace. We don’t have to pursue false humility to love others well. Rather, by the grace of God we must stop looking to our own needs, our own sense of pride and reputation, lay down our lives at the cross of Christ, and love as he has called us to love.

....... 

On Thanksgiving and always, I am grateful for God's grace that covers my inadequacies.