Deadline snuck up on me again. With my current work shift, I miss my morning walks around the neighborhood pond/lake, which had become a good time to let thoughts shape into insights, perspectives, inspiration, etc.
I am still struggling a bit not to feel and exhibit frustration, exhaustion, overwhelmedness (I don't think that's really a word), lethargy, depression or any number of other forms of negativity.
I've been meditating on Wednesday's passage from my John MacArthur "Truth for Today: A Daily Touch of God's Grace" devotional, and I have faith that it will help me get to where I need to be.
Here are some excerpts.
No chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness in those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11)
Evaluating a trial as a joyful occurrence is something a Christian must discipline himself to do because joy is not the natural human response to troubles. He must make a conscious commitment to face each trial with a joyous attitude. ... When you see a trial coming, take on an attitude of joy that comes from anticipating the perfecting work the Lord will do through it. ... It is the joy of one who counts it a privilege to have his faith tested because he knows the testing will draw him closer to the Savior. ...
Among my present "trials" are work, my dad's health, my cat's behavior and many of my troublesome habits that I just haven't been able to change or get rid of. It seems like I'd been trying to face them with joy even before I read this, but I don't know that I've made much progress. But I have faith and hope that it will occur. That is my prayer and what I will continue to focus on and make a conscious commitment to.
Showing posts with label commitment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label commitment. Show all posts
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Rejected but not dejected
Several months ago, in probably my last time as a volunteer helping with the Angel Food distribution at my church, I was in a discussion that led to me wonder why I don't participate in periodic blood drives at the church. I remembered giving blood a few times when I was younger, but as best I could recall, the reasons I quit volunteering were because sometimes I felt faint afterward, and also because, although it wasn't really painful, it wasn't exactly comfortable. But I was just so aware that many people who could offer legitimate reasons for not volunteering at Angel Food and other events and for not giving blood apparently wouldn't dream of not participating. I looked around and thought, if these people can do this, certainly I can, too. So I vowed to participate in the next blood drive.
As luck (?) would have it, the next two or three drives scheduled at the church were Sundays when I was out of town. I'd be lying if I said I was sad to realize I could delay the experience. Then, when we received an e-mail reminder this week about weekend events at the church, including a scheduled blood drive, my thought was that it would be a busy day. But my commitment didn't come to mind. Even Saturday night, I was thinking about the pancake breakfast the Mission Team has the third Sunday of every month and that there would be a blood drive, but that's as far as it went.
One thing worth noting is that this weekend and the coming week were shaping up to hold opportunities for me to get some things done I've been putting off. Before I went to bed Saturday -- without getting anything on that mental list started, much less accomplished -- I wrote these words in my journal: Praying to make a list of priorities for this week -- prayerfully -- and to lift it up to You and just do it, do it, do it! One moment at a time.
Lo and behold, shortly after I awoke this morning, it occurred to me that today was the blood drive, and I had no excuse not to participate. So, to keep from talking myself out of it, I couldn't even think about it, other than to make sure I dressed comfortably with easy access to my veins! Even though I hadn't given the blood drive any thought on Saturday, I realized I had eaten some extra protein and other things that seemed healthy, and then I made sure to eat what I thought was a healthy breakfast. I won't say I was excited, but I was committed. I even got to church earlier than usual, to make sure I had enough time before the choir gathered to prepare for worship.
As soon as I got there, I headed to the check in. I answered the questions and everything seemed to be going fine -- temperature, blood pressure and pulse. Then she pricked my finger to draw a little blood, and the next thing I knew, she said I wouldn't be able to donate. It seems my iron level was low. It needed to be 38 and was just 34.
Of course, that's when I remembered I'd tried this before sometime in the years after I started facing some of my petty fears and being a little less selfish and a little more serving. And this had been the result then, too. But I had completely forgotten. I am a bit puzzled though, because I recently had routine blood work done, and I had not been told my iron level might be low. I will be checking into this further. Could this explain why I always seem tired even though I get a pretty good amount of pillow time each night? (I still think the sleep problem might be related to having a cat on my legs, causing me to wake up and reposition several times each night.)
I think on some level I'm disappointed that I wasn't able to give blood. I know I'm glad I was willing to make the effort. And I think I'll see if I can figure out what I need to do to get the iron level up -- both for my own health and so I can try again to share this gift of life!
As luck (?) would have it, the next two or three drives scheduled at the church were Sundays when I was out of town. I'd be lying if I said I was sad to realize I could delay the experience. Then, when we received an e-mail reminder this week about weekend events at the church, including a scheduled blood drive, my thought was that it would be a busy day. But my commitment didn't come to mind. Even Saturday night, I was thinking about the pancake breakfast the Mission Team has the third Sunday of every month and that there would be a blood drive, but that's as far as it went.
One thing worth noting is that this weekend and the coming week were shaping up to hold opportunities for me to get some things done I've been putting off. Before I went to bed Saturday -- without getting anything on that mental list started, much less accomplished -- I wrote these words in my journal: Praying to make a list of priorities for this week -- prayerfully -- and to lift it up to You and just do it, do it, do it! One moment at a time.
Lo and behold, shortly after I awoke this morning, it occurred to me that today was the blood drive, and I had no excuse not to participate. So, to keep from talking myself out of it, I couldn't even think about it, other than to make sure I dressed comfortably with easy access to my veins! Even though I hadn't given the blood drive any thought on Saturday, I realized I had eaten some extra protein and other things that seemed healthy, and then I made sure to eat what I thought was a healthy breakfast. I won't say I was excited, but I was committed. I even got to church earlier than usual, to make sure I had enough time before the choir gathered to prepare for worship.
As soon as I got there, I headed to the check in. I answered the questions and everything seemed to be going fine -- temperature, blood pressure and pulse. Then she pricked my finger to draw a little blood, and the next thing I knew, she said I wouldn't be able to donate. It seems my iron level was low. It needed to be 38 and was just 34.
Of course, that's when I remembered I'd tried this before sometime in the years after I started facing some of my petty fears and being a little less selfish and a little more serving. And this had been the result then, too. But I had completely forgotten. I am a bit puzzled though, because I recently had routine blood work done, and I had not been told my iron level might be low. I will be checking into this further. Could this explain why I always seem tired even though I get a pretty good amount of pillow time each night? (I still think the sleep problem might be related to having a cat on my legs, causing me to wake up and reposition several times each night.)
I think on some level I'm disappointed that I wasn't able to give blood. I know I'm glad I was willing to make the effort. And I think I'll see if I can figure out what I need to do to get the iron level up -- both for my own health and so I can try again to share this gift of life!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Detour ahead
Construction of Norman's "long-awaited Robinson Street railroad underpass," as it was described in the Oklahoma City newspaper, has begun, and I'm looking for a new church.
For months -- actually, years now -- I've curiously followed the discussions and votes involving this step of community progress. After the project was approved, I've watched as houses and businesses have been vacated and then moved or razed. Whenever I've asked what effect this would have on the church located about two blocks east of the railroad tracks and one block south of Robinson Street, I've always been assured it shouldn't be much of a problem. But the latest newspaper article, plus all of those before it, make me think otherwise. Add to that nearly 28 years of commuting at least 20 miles to and from work and about that many years of driving across town for church, and I'm pretty sure I have reason to be concerned. Construction detours are no fun. And, living west of the tracks, I see no way around this one, unless I find a different church.
Of course, that's not what I will do. As good timing would have it, the desire to just avoid the situation arose the evening before Wednesday morning prayer. So, by time I drove to church, stayed awhile to pray and then drove home, I knew again: No excuses. Construction may be an obstacle, but it can't be an excuse. I may be late, but I won't be absent -- not because of construction detours, anyway. Even as I write this, I'm trying to make it a commitment. It's not going to be easy. I know from experience that if I'm running late and get stuck in traffic, there will be a strong desire to just head home when I finally get out of the traffic jam. And I know from experience that the chances of me leaving even five minutes earlier to partially offset the construction delay is unlikely.
Maybe the best I can hope for is to use the impending detours as another opportunity to persevere through a challenge (a relatively minor one, I have to admit) and also to remember there's no time like being stuck in traffic to count my many blessings!
For months -- actually, years now -- I've curiously followed the discussions and votes involving this step of community progress. After the project was approved, I've watched as houses and businesses have been vacated and then moved or razed. Whenever I've asked what effect this would have on the church located about two blocks east of the railroad tracks and one block south of Robinson Street, I've always been assured it shouldn't be much of a problem. But the latest newspaper article, plus all of those before it, make me think otherwise. Add to that nearly 28 years of commuting at least 20 miles to and from work and about that many years of driving across town for church, and I'm pretty sure I have reason to be concerned. Construction detours are no fun. And, living west of the tracks, I see no way around this one, unless I find a different church.
Of course, that's not what I will do. As good timing would have it, the desire to just avoid the situation arose the evening before Wednesday morning prayer. So, by time I drove to church, stayed awhile to pray and then drove home, I knew again: No excuses. Construction may be an obstacle, but it can't be an excuse. I may be late, but I won't be absent -- not because of construction detours, anyway. Even as I write this, I'm trying to make it a commitment. It's not going to be easy. I know from experience that if I'm running late and get stuck in traffic, there will be a strong desire to just head home when I finally get out of the traffic jam. And I know from experience that the chances of me leaving even five minutes earlier to partially offset the construction delay is unlikely.
Maybe the best I can hope for is to use the impending detours as another opportunity to persevere through a challenge (a relatively minor one, I have to admit) and also to remember there's no time like being stuck in traffic to count my many blessings!
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