Until now ... And henceforth

-- Staying mostly in bed and not leaving the house from Friday night until Monday morning last weekend probably really did help me get over a cold faster. It is amazing, though, how tired I still was after spending that much time in bed and/or sleeping and doing nothing. 

-- It was great to be back to a weekly meeting I missed last Saturday and church today. 

-- As I've mentioned before, on Dec. 21, I made a decision to cut my gum consumption by half, which, as I said at the time, is no small thing for me. Even as I still struggle to keep that commitment in the fourth week, I've added another, prompted by the same strong inner feeling I had  about the gum. This one is to quit recording a soap opera and making time to keep up with it. Sounds simple, right? But I guess I'm one of those people that trying to cut back or cut out makes me think I want it more. I have to remind myself every day why I made each decision and why it is worth keeping the commitment to myself. One day at a time is important to remember. 

-- I have made some changes in my diet along with the gum. I think overall it's healthier. It's still a work in progress. 

-- Oh, yes: The 28-year-old dishwasher quit working Friday night. A lot of people I know would have gone right out on Saturday and bought a new one. We'll actually try to fix ours. Trying to keep old appliances out of the landfill as long as possible, I suppose. And they just don't make things like they used to. Meanwhile, I feel solidarity with Mom and others I know for whom washing dishes by hand is no big deal. 

-- I responded passionately to three different things this weekend. I shared insights in writing to make sure people in certain situations were aware of possible mistakes or other options. The world and society sends a lot of messages that seem to say people should mind their own business. And you certainly have to not show emotion! But something within me requires me to express. And so I pray, and usually write, rather than speak. And I trust God with the results. 

-- On this 15th day of 2012, I'm mostly feeling positive and hopeful and as if progress is occurring. I'm grateful for that. The new morning prayer routine sitting in a comfortable chair and using the Jesus Calling devotional  and A Praying Heart journal starts my day with peace.  So many good insights from Scripture. I am learning to say daily and believe: I trust You, Lord. 

As the bishop said when he preached at our church today, from 1 Samuel 7:12, up until now, God has been with us and blessed us. And we can have faith that He will continue to be with us and bless us. (But it helps if we start out right from the top, as he shared from his lesson as a 7-year-old who had some trouble with his first beloved button-front shirt.)



 
  

Random observances, perhaps with some similarities

It's blog deadline day, and I have some time while I wait for a phone call to be returned. So I'm just going to make a quick post about some seemingly random occurrences and observances, perhaps with some similarities. There's a pretty good chance I'll revisit some of these thoughts later.

-- Habits 1: My husband and I went to On the Border for dinner Saturday. It's not a place we usually go, but we had a $30 gift card and decided to use it. For some reason, when I go out to eat, it's become second nature for me to find the least expensive thing on the menu that I think will satisfy me. At Mexican restaurants, that's usually the tortilla soup. It works well, because it's the right amount (coupled with chips and salsa) and I like it very much. But when I looked at the menu, some of the combos really sounded interesting, including one of the fish tacos. But I ended up going with the soup and a house salad. When we got our bill, it was just a little over $22. That didn't leave enough on the card for another trip, but it seemed like too much to leave for a tip. After some discussion, my husband and I decided to leave all of it as the tip. After we left, I wondered why I didn't go ahead and "splurge." As I was feeling a tinge of regret, the thought occurred to me: Maybe the waiter needed that extra bit of cash. That thought makes me smile. And I liked what I had, so why even give it a second thought?

-- Habits 2. Whether it be chewing too much gum or some other reaction to stress that I know will make a situation worse (overeating, procrastinating), sometimes I think I'm the only one who does crazy stuff. But then I think a little more and realize everyone seems to have various kinds of habitual weaknesses. But when I finally confess to someone one of my deep, dark weaknesses, it seems like it's still easy for the other to say just don't do it. That really aggravated me when it happened Saturday, but I can't shake the idea that it really is the answer. Just don't do it. If eating/drinking/chewing when I'm stressed makes the stress symptoms worse, I've just got to find a way to stop. I may have made a tiny step of progress toward this today.

-- Singing breakthrough? When I sing, I really want it to be about the song, not about me. I just want to share the song and not get in its way. As with so many things, that's easier said than done.

-- Heavenly awareness. On Saturday night, while thinking of a relatively young friend (couldn't be too much older than me) who died unexpectedly Saturday and also thinking about how grateful I am for my Dad's resilient health, the thought occurred to me: Am I looking forward to heaven? When people die, I'm one who, so far, pretty quickly can accept that they are at a better place. But I had the awareness that I don't feel eager for me or my family to be there. In the face of some Bible study I've been doing, and maybe just growing older, I have to wonder about that. So many things I read suggest that people of great faith really have such great love for Jesus that, even while they enjoy their family and friends and time on Earth, they really do have a sense that they are just serving here and waiting for that glorious day. After Bible study Sunday, I mentioned my thoughts to the leader and asked if she's thought about that. She said she has, and she's ready. We had a good conversation. I think this is may be part of a very significant spiritual development for me. I'm not at that point of spiritual maturity yet, but I think I'm getting closer.

Detour ahead

Construction of Norman's "long-awaited Robinson Street railroad underpass," as it was described in the Oklahoma City newspaper, has begun, and I'm looking for a new church.

For months -- actually, years now -- I've curiously followed the discussions and votes involving this step of community progress. After the project was approved, I've watched as houses and businesses have been vacated and then moved or razed. Whenever I've asked what effect this would have on the church located about two blocks east of the railroad tracks and one block south of Robinson Street, I've always been assured it shouldn't be much of a problem. But the latest newspaper article, plus all of those before it, make me think otherwise. Add to that nearly 28 years of commuting at least 20 miles to and from work and about that many years of driving across town for church, and I'm pretty sure I have reason to be concerned. Construction detours are no fun. And, living west of the tracks, I see no way around this one, unless I find a different church.

Of course, that's not what I will do. As good timing would have it, the desire to just avoid the situation arose the evening before Wednesday morning prayer. So, by time I drove to church, stayed awhile to pray and then drove home, I knew again: No excuses. Construction may be an obstacle, but it can't be an excuse. I may be late, but I won't be absent -- not because of construction detours, anyway. Even as I write this, I'm trying to make it a commitment. It's not going to be easy. I know from experience that if I'm running late and get stuck in traffic, there will be a strong desire to just head home when I finally get out of the traffic jam. And I know from experience that the chances of me leaving even five minutes earlier to partially offset the construction delay is unlikely.

Maybe the best I can hope for is to use the impending detours as another opportunity to persevere through a challenge (a relatively minor one, I have to admit) and also to remember there's no time like being stuck in traffic to count my many blessings!