Sunday, October 11, 2015
Random thoughts as I notice it's Oct. 11 and I haven't posted anything at all in October!!:
I wanted to blog a response to the focus in The Oklahoman about why Oklahomans hate Texas. Mine would be thoughts from someone who has lived in Oklahoma 33 years and still considers herself a Texan living in Oklahoma, rather than an Oklahoman. A year or so ago, this momentarily became an issue at the place I worked for 33 years -- a newspaper that had adopted a new catchphrase: because "We are Oklahomans" (or something like that).
I didn't get around to composing my post. And even though I am not a fan of the lowly Texas university team that got bashed all week in print and on air, I took some pleasure that the Longhorns somehow eked out a beatdown of the Sooners. It may be because my teams tend to be the underdog, so I have a soft spot for others in such situations.
Unfortunately, that could backfire on me this week as the college team I DO care about -- the Texas Aggies -- put their undefeated season on the line against once-defeated but always good Alabama. But the difference is, as much as I want my team to win each game, I am so accustomed to being the underdog that it doesn't surprise me when they don't. I'm a fan anyway.
You might say I avoid disappointment by not setting my expectations too high. That's what it was like when the Aggie women's basketball team and the NBA's Dallas Mavericks won national championships, and when the Texas Rangers came oh-so close two years in a row in the MLB. A variation may have been at play when the OSU Cowboys and the Kansas Jayhawks came closer than anyone would have ever expected. The Jayhawks took advantage of some breaks in scheduling and another team's misfortunes; I always felt the Cowboys were victims of a random occurrence.
This year, similar things could possibly happen with the Rangers and the Aggies. Dare I even write down the scenarios that have come into my mind? Because the thing is, nothing matters except how you play each game. (Aggies could win out and not be in championship playoff because the SEC isn't as strong this year. The Rangers in their first World Series, as I recall, had a disadvantage from the American League's All Star game loss; and in the second visit, they were playing a wild card team that would have been less likely to have even advanced with the rules now in place.)
I'm not sure where I intended to be going with all of this. Mainly I just noticed it's Oct. 11 and I have yet to post anything for October. So here goes something. And maybe I will be back to edit and fill in lots of gaps soon!!
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
I am second-guessing myself more than ever in some areas of my life. Too often lately, almost immediately after I make some well-intentioned comment that is intended to be positive, helpful and supportive, I realize how it could be misconstrued as criticizing, judging, complaining or interfering with another person's business.
Fortunately, those are areas in which I think I still have room and time to learn and grow.
An area of greater confusion is finally clear. I never quit trying and praying, but my hope and effort had certainly diminished. And then the miracle happened.
Never.ever.give.up. It's more than a baseball team slogan. It gives me hope in all areas of my life.
Sunday, September 20, 2015
It's time for action. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
What can I do differently?
I still don't know the answer, but I hope to find out as I go.
I'm praying and striving to maintain a positive and grateful attitude and willingness to change.
And as always I need to trust God. Trust God. Trust God.
Sunday, September 6, 2015
God redeems what He allows. That's a concept that has stayed with me since I read it a year or two ago in writings of Jim Denison, on his Denison Forum on Faith and Culture.
My choices are my own, not God's. I've made poor choices even as I've continued to pray.
And God constantly works to redeem my actions, to work things for good, to make it right.
I am currently experiencing that in a major way.
What I want to shout from the highest hill: never give up on God.
And, perhaps related to the second of Christ's most important commandments: never give up on people.
Never stop praying and believing and working in whatever way you can, even if it seems small, to know and do God's will. Even if it seems impossible that you can resolve a bad situation, don't rule out what God can do.
I believe I am seeing answers to a lifetime of sometimes feeble prayers.
I pray it is so. And I thank God that it is even possible.
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Not much new to report. Still standing in the need of God's mercy, love and grace, and praying in faith that I will receive the gifts he offers, one moment at a time. Among those gifts is one more chance to be the person I believe I am.
Ok, I guess I should add: Grief is a many layered and complex thing. I must not deceive myself about that.
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Maybe I'm finally, truly putting my faith in God. Time will tell. I pray that God will find me faithful. I am truly unworthy of another chance. But the Father runs to embrace His prodigal children, even if they only come to their senses and repent because they can no longer deceive themselves about the pain their choices are causing so many people.
I'm grateful to God. And I'm praying in faith that His sovereign love, mercy and grace can heal and protect and raise up all standing in the need of His mercy, love, grace and healing.