Sunday, September 14, 2014
I woke up Saturday thinking it's about time for me to seriously consider getting a kitty. I know Gene and I have said we wouldn't have another cat until we retire to the farm, but I had started trying to think of ways that it might work for us to again have a kitty here. Then my sister posted on Facebook about how, with the colder weather, her kitties are enjoying lap time more. It made me think of how this house, too, seems colder without a cat. I was starting to form a plan in my mind ... After a meeting I attend on Saturdays, several of us were talking, and I mentioned that the colder weather makes me think it's time for me to have a kitty again. I was not even considering the possibility of getting a kitty that day .... But a friend mentioned a kitten had found its way to her house -- and she already has four cats, and one was intolerant of adding a new guy. I know what that is like, because my most recent cat had been totally unwilling to accept a new feline arrival. As my friend described the kitty, I had the feeling that God was orchestrating this. I had said a prayer earlier about a different situation, just lifting it up to God and pledging my trust and faith in Him to show me what to do and how. I sensed I also should be prayerful and trusting with this. Even though I had not planned to get a kitty, everything seemed right about it -- except that my husband was traveling and we had not even talked about this; and the house wasn't kitty ready; and few if any of those many those things I needed to do to get my act (and house) together before taking in a kitty again had been taken care of. But in my mind, the only question was: How will I tell my husband? Maybe I could say she just showed up? I actually considered waiting until I had the kitty before I called him, but decided I needed to call first. But he didn't answer. So I left voice mail, and a text. And then I called the friend with the kitty. "Does this mean you'll take her?" she asked. "Yes -- but you need to bring her here. I can't come get her. I might need to be able to say she showed up here." So this kitty, which I only knew was a female who was sweet and playful and good with the litter box, was on her way to my house. I didn't even know what color she was. I braced myself to love her regardless. Quite soon, my friend and her husband arrived with the carrier. When I looked inside, I saw this beautiful, silky cinnamon-color sweetheart. I opened the door, and she came out exploring. Part of not having the house ready was that, despite our best efforts to clean our carpet, we hadn't replaced it, so I know she could smell Bridget. Her little nose was so busy, checking everything out. And before I knew it, she was exploring the cubbies and platforms of the cat condo that had been used by our three previous cats. She checked out the inside of both recliners, the plants -- she managed to let me know quite quickly just how unprepared I was to bring a kitten into this house. But my gut feeling is that this is meant to be. We can do this. I set her up a home in the guest bathroom -- which already had become the cat's bathroom with Samantha, Teddy and Bridget, if not also Cinnamon. She spent her first night there, and also the three hours or so Sunday while I was at church and buying groceries. Right now, I'm thinking that's where she will be tomorrow while I'm at work. Eventually she will have the run of the house, but she has some learning to do first. Am I ready for a cat? I doubt it. I would still be making excuses. But I think this is an act of faith. I pray it is. And signs continue to affirm that. I talked to my husband later Saturday. He wasn't thrilled with the news, but he wasn't upset. He said what I knew: This is not how he would have gone about it. So Jasmine aka Jaz aka Jazzy (and formerly Miss Minnie) and I have a lot of work to do to show Gene that this was not a mistake. I think, hope and pray we are off to a good start. Having a kitty is an act of faith for me. But so was not having a kitty. I guess none of that should surprise me, because life at its best for me is just that: one act of faith after another. I trust God to lead me and guide me. And for this moment, this crazy cat lady thanks God for the silky cinnamon furry, purry sweetheart that has made her way into my heart and home.
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Here I go again. I'll start by mentioning what I hoped to write about, and then I'll see what I end up with. What I had in mind: something about the ALS ice bucket challenge and spending time on Labor Day working on a treasured homestead in Texas; quiet time with close family members; a simple anniversary celebration with my husband; weather that seems unseasonal to me; too many things to do at once; and so much tempting food. Will I choose one or go in some other direction? I am a creature of habit and am most comfortable when life is routine. Life hasn't seemed routine lately. And it's all good. That doesn't seem like a routine reaction for me. But it is a good reaction, and the more common it becomes, the better off I am. For instance: I think summer should be hot, winter can be a little cold, and spring and autumn are best experienced quite mildly. In the South Central U.S., spring is green and includes rainy days, and the end of summer starts to be dry, brown and yellow. This afternoon when I walked, everything was so beautifully green and growing, even though the neighborhood lake is still low. Yesterday, when I needed to be two places at once and another place not long after that, meaning lots of coming and going, the skies opened to pour out about eight-tenths inch of rain. Which was wonderful, until on one of those comings, as I was headed into the church, late (after spending a few moments at the other event that started at the same time), I dropped my iPhone and a bunch of brand-new choir music in a puddle! This was after I noticed, before leaving the house, that the belt on the exercise bike I ride faithfully every day had broken. The me I know best would get all frustrated and be thinking at that point that nothing is going right. But that's not what I thought yesterday. I knew it really all was good. Seriously? Thank You, God, because that reaction is not my own. Perhaps that attitude adjustment is a fruit of pretty much daily trying to spend time in prayerful focus on God, using Craig Denison's First 15 guide, among others. After reading Friday's devotional, I wrote: I want that! Sept. 5, First 15: "James 1:2-4 says, 'Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.' If we will allow the Lord to redeem the trials and testing we endure in this life, we will begin to bear the fruit of joy in the midst of any circumstance. Unshakable joy is our portion." Today, I thank God for the taste of that Joy I received this weekend.
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Wow! What a year it has been. This time in 2013, I was doing last-minute shopping and crazy packing/planning before leaving early the next day for flights to London and the start of that amazing 10-day cruise along the Western European coast aboard the Crystal Serenity. Usually I'm very aware of such "anniversaries," but this one had slipped my mind until someone at church this morning wished me a happy anniversary. Sure enough, the wedding anniversary had slipped my mind, too. That's when I thought back to last year, when I was aboard the ship somewhere in the area of Bordeaux, France, and Gene was home in Norman, Oklahoma.
That's how the past 12 months have been -- filled with surprises, blessings, frustrations, challenges, memories and forgetfulness.
Three factors seemed to play big roles.
One was the cruise. I had to decide quickly whether to go on this promotional trip available through work -- and to this day I'm not sure I made the best choice. Some of my personal chaos since then I clearly link to that decision and its aftermath.
Another was my husband's transition with his early retirement from a state job to a part-time, work-from-home role as a contractor for a national organization. For a 20-hour-a-week job, it has keep him very busy, including a lot of travel. I've enjoyed getting to go along on some trips and will do so more in the future. We knew the transition would be significant. I think we both are looking forward to next year and a better sense of how to plan and balance work and some retirement opportunities not tied to his job.
And the third is the cancer diagnosis of my sister-in-law. When I was in Arkansas for the birthday of their youngest daughter -- my goddaughter -- a year ago in August, things were so normal, as far as I knew. But by Thanksgiving, everything had changed with a cancer diagnosis. I've been blessed to be one of many family members and friends sharing this precious journey. I've wanted to be there so much more, but I'm grateful for every visit I have been able to make. So often, the timing has been amazing in ways than can only be divine. Through a very difficult year, the family's faith has remained strong. Their determination to pull together through this and fight for healing and strength continues to inspire me. And again today, I pray in faith that she soon will have some pain-free, quality time with her family. But until then, we praise God for His blessings that allow them to see the good in every day and situation. I believe with all my heart that a positive breakthrough is just around the corner. Our job is to remain faithful.
And that is what I try to do every day, in every situation. Sometimes I fall far short, and God in His great mercy loves and accepts and blesses me anyway.
I was tempted to write that I hope the coming year will be less chaotic and stressful for me, for my husband and for my brother's family. But I'm not going to do that. I just pray to stay close to God, come what may.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
I had hoped to write a light piece tonight about causes, effects and unintended consequences, but one thing leads to another, and the result is that I am out of time before I even get started! I will say that the Texas Aggies start their new football season playing on the new SEC Network on Thursday, and we prepared by upgrading our cable to digital so we could get that channel and some others (outdoors and fishing!) of interest to my husband. I was eager to get the network and excited to have it. But almost immediately, I became aware that it's even harder to decide what to watch now. So far, I've been forced to keep it simple, because I haven't had time to explore all the new programming available. Meanwhile, the game starts at 5, so it's good that this system has a recorder. But when will I even watch it? Now Gene tells me we can record six shows at once? Really? Last Saturday, I was flipping between three games (Texas Rangers, Dallas Cowboys and Johnny Football's team), and I could have been recording all three! Tomorrow, I can record the Aggies and the Dallas Cowboys. But again ... really? Do I even want to spend time on this? The good thing about such recordings is that, like an iPhone picture or Facebook post, there's nothing wrong with capturing it in the moment. I can always delete it later. Of course, lurking in the back of my mind is the thought that none of the teams I follow have been doing too well lately. How will I feel if my beloved Aggies follow that pattern? I just want it to be enjoyable to watch, and it really is more fun when they win. As with so many things, it's up to me to decide how I will spend my time and what effect I will let sports outcomes or anything else have on my thoughts and moods. Achieving a healthy balance would be a cause for celebration!
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
This is another catch-all post. I'm convinced that I will only ever write anything that pleases me if I keep up the discipline of writing something on a regular basis even if I have nothing to say. As it turns out, I sometimes don't know whether I have anything to say until I start writing. More often, I think I have something to say, but cannot figure out how to express it and can't justify spending too much time trying. That's the case tonight, and I feel the desire to go to bed prevailing over the desire to write about my weekend. In the meantime, I continue to be grateful for the promises of Scripture, including: -- "He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed." (1 Peter) That was related to the Aug. 15 meditation from Craig Denison's First 15: "He heals past wounds and forgives present scars." It prompted me to write out this prayer: "Lord, I need Your forgiveness. And I have it. Thank You. I love You. I want to live for You, in joy, obedience, love and service. Humility. Lord, I need You to help me forgive myself for how I am about how I am. Or help me to live with it. I pray all things will glorify You. Amen." -- "And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." (Nehemiah 8:10)
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
I continue to get daily reminders to not let anything rob me of the joy and strength that come from the Lord.
This week's spiritual theme turned to forgiveness, and still joy crept in. It wasn't in the words of the devotional, but is one of the clear, continuing outcomes.
Wednesday's 12-step meeting referenced our journey on the road of Happy Destiny.
That was followed by Thursday's reading from an OA devotional book: "Here we experience the great truth that when we let go of our need to control people and simply allow our Higher Power to serve others through us, we receive an abundance of strength and joy." ("Voices of Recovery," p. 227, quoting "The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous," p. 106)
And I'll close with my thoughts about a quote from the video played for Sunday school, attributed to John Wesley, which I am probably just paraphrasing: "Preach salvation until you have it, then preach salvation because you have it."
I apply this to my effort to continue to focus on the joy that comes from my relationship with the Lord. I will preach it until I experience it, and then I will share it because I have it.
Friday, August 8, 2014
Happiness and joy have been key themes in my meditations and Scriptures this week. Today, the messages included a commentary on Pope Francis' top 10 tips for bring joy to one's life. Among the guidelines were some that I already had been striving toward, with varying degrees of success: Live and let live; give of yourself to others; move calmly; maintain a sense of leisure; avoid being negative; set Sunday apart; and work for peace. Although as I write this on Friday night, I am tired and have a headache that is related either to a toothache or sinuses, overall I have felt energized this week as my mind has settled often on this verse: "The joy of the Lord is my strength" (Nehemiah 8:10.) Often, my mood lightened as I found myself thinking: "How awesome is that? Returning my focus to the Lord brings joy, and in that joy is strength." It also came in handy when I found myself starting to moan about tedious extra tasks that seemed to interrupt my routine this week. The Lord. Joy in the Lord. Strength in joy in the Lord. And eventually, I was grateful for the ability and opportunity to do the task, even if it seemed tedious. Now, the Scriptures and meditations don't solve another dilemma I continue to battle: that I always seem to run out of time. So far, I've gotten no clear answers to my prayers to either help me not be so easily distracted, or to be quicker and more efficient at each thing I do. Instead, I still get stuck making even minor decisions, and then fretting as time fritters away. And one unexpected occurrence -- a phone call, rain when I expect sunshine, someone missing a day of work -- threatens to derail every bit of progress. But even then, before I go to bed and when I wake up, I return to the guiding theme: The joy of the Lord is my strength. These are some of the Scriptures I encountered this week that helped me stay focused on the joy God offers: "And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." (Nehemiah 8:10) "The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing." (Zephaniah 3:17) "May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy." (Colossians 1:11) "There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God, for apart from him who can eat or who can have enjoyment? For to the one who pleases him God has given wisdom and knowledge and joy." (Ecclesiastes 2:24-26) "You make known to me the path of life;in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." (Psalm 16:11)