God is at work.
He's inviting me to co-labor with Him. I feel myself trying to resist.
I'm praying to respond in faith.
Little steps of progress/faith bring good feelings and inner satisfaction but also reminders of what holds me back. One thing always leads to another, and pretty quickly I feel overwhelmed. Then the doubt kicks in. Doubt that I can do -- even with His help -- what God seems to be calling me to do. And then I get caught up in trying to figure out how to do it all instead of just doing what's in front of me. Rather than trust God to equip me for what He calls me to do, I fret about whether I will be able to. Often, fear grips me, and I decide I can't do some of the things that seemed so right and divinely inspired to do.
As I responded to a friend who said "Resistance is futile. LOL!": Ultimately I know this is true, but it's amazing how stubbornly I keep trying to resist. If I could just channel that effort into faithful response. Haven't given up hope of that.
And that's where I will leave it for now.