Thursday, September 28, 2017

Still no words

Here it is another self-imposed blog deadline, and I've got nothing but excuses and rationale. I was going through photos on my iPhone to clear up some space before my 40th high school reunion on Saturday, and I saw so many images from experiences that I had hoped to write about and share. But it just hasn't happened. Writing is such a slow process for me, and I have needed to focus on other things. It frustrates me that I can't make quick work of writing and then have time for everything else.

Last week I had no words and was pretty much OK with that. This week I'm not as accepting of the situation, but I'm still not going to get anything done about it tonight. It is what it is -- as much as I hate to ever hear that, much less write it. So I might as well accept it, for tonight. Let go! Let God! And be grateful that I can let go and let God. He is faithful and loves me even when I feel as if I'm failing, falling so short of my best. That gives me hope that springs eternal, morning by morning.

Thursday, September 21, 2017

No words

I can't think of anything to write about to meet my self-imposed blog deadline tonight. Just for today, I'm OK with that. And grateful.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

I'm back in Norman after spending a couple of days with Mom in Texas. All of the various treatments she has been getting for her back pain have finally turned things around. (For the record: She still has some pain, but it is no longer debilitating, praise God!) I could barely keep up yesterday as I went along when she went to Muenster for PT and on to Gainesville for errands! 

I'm grateful to God and all who prayed, helped and offered encouragement. And I'm grateful to Mom for not giving up or giving in to the pain. And I'm grateful to Becky   and her family for all they do to keep things going all the time but especially during times like this. 

Mom is still the glue for our family, but I can't even imagine how much harder it would be for all of us if Becky and her family weren't close by and so gracious to do so much. 

I'm filled with love and gratitude for my family

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Now what?

I guess I've answered the question of whether I am a writer.

Now I face even bigger questions.
What am I going to do about it?
Where does it fit in with my life? 
Is it a passion or an obsession? An addiction?
Can I do it in a healthy way?
Is the time and effort worth the result?
What are the costs of not pursuing my passion as a writer?
Perhaps the biggest question: Can my marriage survive me pursuing my passion for writing?


Again: Where does it fit in with my life?

A lesson that presented itself again last week is that I tend to crave a wide audience and realm of influence, but God keeps bringing me back to focusing on whom or what is in front of me. My mind keeps trying to figure out the big picture and how to make a big difference, but I'm much more effective when I focus on what's in front of me. KEEP IT SIMPLE.

Of course, that presents another dilemma. Because focusing and keeping it simple are two of the hardest things for me to do.

But I see time and time again that the effort of slowing down, focusing and trying to keep it simple pays off.

Another key, of course, is balance, which is especially essential as I fend off perfectionism.

So: I will continue to write. The verdict is still out on whether I will try again to write for compensation or to fulfill a commitment or expectation. I'm grateful to be in a situation where I don't have to make a quick decision.