Full circle?

June ends like it began as far as blog posts go: with a placeholder!

It's been a great month. Too busy to write.

That's not really the reason I haven't kept up with writing. The reason is because I don't manage my time well.

So I will just make quick notes about why this was another fantastic weekend in Texas with my family.

-- Watching my great-niece Heidi (with a cameo by her brother Ryan) in a music and arts camp production on Friday, then going enjoying live music on the Cooke County Courthouse square.

-- Christmas in June with the family on Saturday, with the addition of a summer Santa gift exchange before the community's pre-July 4 fireworks.  Seeing a 7-month-old great-nephew who is seldom around, and also learning about the birth of the newest additions to the family, my nephew's twin boy and girl.

-- Worship, singing in the choir and a fellowship luncheon at the church I attended as a child and which my mom and other family members still attend.

-- A trip down memory lane as my mom, a sister and I visited cousins who are in charge of the things that belonged to a beloved aunt (my late dad's late sister).

--

Fun times just keep coming ...

My long, wonderful weekend started by watching "West Side Story" at Butterfield Stage Theatre in Gainesville with my Mom, sister, brother-in-law, their daughter and her daughter, and it just ended watching the WSS movie on DVD alone in Norman.

I’m glad I saw the live community theater version first. It was very, very good, and seeing the movie for the first time took nothing away from that!

Now it’s time to unpack and get busy. (I knew from experience that if I didn’t watch Emily’s DVD I brought back with me immediately I might never do it.)

Theatre, shopping, Gospel music, baseball and eating provided the backdrop for plenty of good times with family. And more extended family time in Texas is in store for next weekend!! I need to let that inspire me to get a lot done here in the meantime.

(Interestingly, after I posted what's above on Facebook on Monday, a set of Facebook memories today prompted this post with the shared pictures from the 2018 version of the upcoming family time: These were from last year. The fun times just keep on coming — or maybe I’m easily entertained!)

God's great faithfulness to fathers and all

Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me and to fathers and to all of Your creation.

My Daddy and my husband's dad, plus my grandpas, were on my mind as I prepared to sing about God’s great faithfulness on Father’s Day. Some of my fond memories of singing at church involve them. I know they are continuing to love and support me in heaven. The older I get, the more I treasure God’s faithfulness and the blessings he gives through parents, families, friends and churches.

More stubborn than Gideon

Progress comes slowly for me.

I've been praying for guidance. God is giving it.

It's up to me to act.

What will it take???

Bible study readings all week have described my situation and offered practice guidance from Scripture as well as modern writers' experiences.

From the first two days of a Levi Lusko study:

Your self-sabotaging mechanism might be your negative thoughts, it might be your actions (or lack thereof), your bad behavior or short temper. It might be your harsh speech or the way you mindlessly turn to social media or food to distract yourself from what is really going on. ... The problem isn’t that we struggle with these things, the problem comes when we refuse to acknowledge them, when we decide it is easier to go quietly into the night instead of putting up a fight.

I don’t believe that we don’t desire victory in our lives; no one wants to be stagnant - stuck in a rut of the same ol’ roadblocks. It’s just that we don’t want to put in the hard yards or commit to God’s instructions that show us the way we can live as victors. ... So this is the day. God brought you to this moment to declare war. On your darkness, on your demons, on your self-sabotaging tendencies, on the version of yourself that you don’t want to be, to throw off the gloves, and rise to the fight, to commit to leaning in as we tackle vital components of the inner struggle. There is freedom in this declaration: I / De / Clare / War

He then asks some questions: What's holding you back? Who can I share this list with to keep me accountable? I made the list but was unwilling to share it.

Lusko's second day referred to the biblical story of Gideon, from Judges 6:1-40, which also was referenced in another study I read this week. Both noted that God didn't accept any of Gideon's excuses. Gideon asked God for more and more signs and wonders before acting, but finally he did act, and God accomplished what was needed and promised. Maybe I'm in that process. 

From Lusko: At the root of the matter ... we feel insecure and we buy into the lie that we aren’t good enough. So, instead of dealing with the lie, we wear a mask as a defense mechanism to cover up the insecurity. But let me tell you this: Living out of your insecurity is the secret to a miserable life.

Look at the life of Gideon and his journey from miserable insecurity to vulnerability and, finally, power. Gideon was haunted by a low opinion of himself and it made him uncomfortable with who God called him to be. ... To make a long story short, Gideon accepts the challenge and raises up an army. God planned on stacking the deck against Gideon in such a way that it would be unmistakable as to who the credit should go to when he was victorious.

There is a valuable lesson to be learned in Gideon’s story: ... Before the battle of the fist comes the battle of the mind. The cure for insecurity is understanding your true identity. That is to say that when you know who you are, it doesn't matter who you are not. That’s why God told Gideon he was a mighty warrior. Don’t focus on what you aren’t, focus on what you are! You are loved by God.  ... And the good news for us insecure mask-wearing phonies is that if we were the ones who put the mask on, we can just as easily take it off and begin to walk in the power and the purpose set out before us.

Meanwhile, these are the words of encouragement drawn from Gideon, offered in the other study I read yesterday:

The words of Gideon’s question in this passage leap readily to our own lips: “If the Lord is with us, why then has all this befallen us?” (verse 13, rsv).
God seems so far away when our lives are filled with death, suffering, boredom, jobs we don’t like, people we don’t understand, circumstances we can’t change. We listen for the answer to Gideon’s question in hopes we may hear an answer to our own. But as so often happens in the encounters between God and people in the Bible, there is no answer, at least not what we would ordinarily classify as an answer. Rather, there is a command: “Save Israel from Midian” (verse 14, msg).

Gideon’s response is much like ours would be: “Look at me. My clan’s the weakest in Manasseh and I’m the runt of the litter” (verse 15, msg). But God showed Gideon that there was to be no more introspection over past failures, no speculation on the ways of fate, no self-evaluation. The initiative was in God’s hands, as it had been back in Egypt. Gideon had only to obey and adhere to the promise. He had only to serve, and God would bring the victory.

When, Lord? When will I be willing to step forward in faith? Continuing to pray .....

I have a story to tell

this is a placeholder, to be edited later.

This is from a very good Bible study on the Bible app:

“There may be a lot of reasons for you to say no to this trip,” he said. “But please, don’t let fear be one of them.”

That one line exposed the truth for me. I was basing this decision on a storm I was imagining. In an attempt to avoid an unwanted consequence, I was allowing fear to push me around. Once I named the fear, it lost a lot of its power, and so I found the courage I needed to say yes.

Sometimes we’re afraid to move because we want to avoid an unwanted consequence. This is when our lives become marked by hiding from the potential storms of loneliness, failure, isolation, or invisibility. If we don’t take cover, then we might be overcome.

Since that experience I have learned to ask before every difficult decision: Am I being led by love or pushed by fear? We can’t prevent storms from coming, but we can decide not to invent our own.