Catching up is hard to do

It's hard for me to believe how far behind I've gotten, a mere 31 days into the year, on my hopes and dreams for 2019.

I don't know where to start in trying to catch up.

I know I won't have a chance to catch up if I don't start somewhere.

And so I am typing a few words on the blog.

I checked my growing to-do list to see whether anything is urgent. Only one has to be done before the calendar page turns to February or not at all. It won't be missed if I don't do it; it might bring cool rewards if I do it. The rest are things that I will just feel disappointed to have not accomplished.

And as for disappointment, dealing with disappointment is a theme of a Bible study I started Jan. 21 that I'm disappointed to say I'm so far behind on already that it's all I can do to not just forget about it. It seems so overwhelming.

And yet, it's something I really want to continue with. I want to find the promised "unexpected strength when disappointments leave you shattered."

I don't feel shattered right now, and for that I am grateful. All I've read so far in the book makes me believe it can give me an understanding of how God's promises in the Bible can help me deal with reality -- including disappointments. My hope would have been that I could rely on God to help me avoid being shattered by circumstances. Instead, I'm seeing that the examples in the Bible show that even if or when we are torn apart, we can trust that God is at work -- faithful, working for good.

Third-week Theatrics

Dang! It's blog day. And I didn't. Maybe next time.

Second-week sensations

Visiting my newest great-nephew.


Not getting too upset when my travels plans were changed and no one bothered to tell me. I was able to look at the bright side and be grateful I inadvertently learned of the changes before I took any action that would have kept me from missing out on the purpose of my trip.

I'm certain there were others. I can't think of them now.

And yes, this is what I call a placeholder. The practice is alive and well in January 2019!

First week favorites, 2019

I had the idea this morning as I was thinking about the start of 2019 to sum up some highlights with "First-week favorites."

I've run out of time today and will not finish this tonight, which actually could become an entry on the list of favorites!

In no particular order (possibly):

Joslin and Russell announced they will be having twins in July -- adding to their family that already includes two baby-crazy boys and a girl, all 7 and younger.

God's on my side: This reading on Saturday in my "Then Sings My Soul" devotional booklet makes up for my frustration with typos and not the best choice of words. The writing that expounded on the familiar Scripture of Psalm 139:23-24 ("Search  me, God, and know my heart ....") proposed that the psalmist, David, "understands something very important about God. He knows that (God's) on David's side. ... He believes God isn't going to respond in anger, but in love." I've always been drawn to this Scripture and felt comforted by it. This helps me understand why it speaks to me of God's love.

(An interesting side note: Tonight's reading in the morning/evening devotional book is on Isaiah 25:1 -- Oh Lord, You are my God ...  You have done wonderful things ...faithful and sure." It references God's track record of faithfulness, which makes me think of another of my favorite Scriptures, Lamentations 3:23-24, which I remember as "Morning by morning new mercies I see; great is Thy faithfulness." And what that made me think of is my visit earlier today to see Mavis, a dear church friend who is now confined to a nursing home where she is confused and alone and hurting in her soul as well as her body. I prayed with her and read Christmas cards and tried to make her smile, with a degree of success. And then the song I sang a verse of was "Great Is Thy Faithfulness," and I could see her mouthing the words.

Reminders that I don't have to be perfect.

My cousin Eric's blog.

Sharing a Babylon Bee satire on Facebook.

Snow.

Focus on God. Trust God. Let go and let God. Praise God!

Yes!

Opportunity? Or Challenge? It's all good!

Every day, every moment, is a new opportunity to do the next right thing. That's how I wanted to approach this first day of 2019.

Why does it seem more like a challenge, or maybe even an obstacle, than an opportunity?

My awareness today was that if I were to write down my goals or resolutions for Jan. 1 (I won't even contemplate such a list for the year), many of them would seem impossible. And on my own, they are.

But I am not alone. I believe in God. I seek His guidance, to know and do His will to His glory. I believe He answers these prayers and gives me what I need to partner with Him in bringing about good through the life He has given me.

So I returned to my question: Why have I continued to struggle so much?

Today's first reading in the morning-and-evening devotional book I bought for this year began with Proverbs 16:9, using The Living Bible's wording: “We should make plans — counting on God to direct us.” The evening reading offered the Scripture from the Amplified Bible: "A man's mind plans his way [as he journeys through life]. But the Lord directs His steps and establishes them."

Yes, it's good to plan. Research has a place. God gave me a brain so I can think and learn. But that brain functions best when it is connected to a heart and soul immersed in prayer. Prayer and Bible study are essential if I truly want the Lord to direct my steps and establish them. When I communicate with God through prayer and His Word -- the Bible -- my knowledge of His desires for me grows, as does my faith that I can trust in His love and goodness.

And then I must take the action. God will direct my steps, but I'm the one who has to put one foot in front of the other, to follow His directions.  That requires faith that He is God and His plans are good. 

The devotional booklet, "Then Sings My Soul," ended the Jan. 1 reading by asking what step I can take to move from "default" (living as if I'm calling the shots) to "design" (recognizing that God is in charge and partnering with Him)? 

I looked ahead and saw the book has a question for each day. So I created a Word document where I can write down my answers.

This was what I wrote for today:

 One next step or decision that would move me from “default” to “design” is to start with prayer, then the Scripture and devotional included here in the morning, followed by moments of meditation. I’m attempting to start this online journal for answers to questions with this book and possibly also the questions of First 15 or any other Bible studies that I take on. I’m attempting to set it up and save it on OneDrive so that I can journal from my phone or the laptop computer. I’ll see how that goes. I don’t have to be perfect. It is a plan. I believe it is a good plan. Proverbs 16:9 clarifies that there are only two ways to live — by default or by design. … Amazingly, these two options are only one decision away from one another — to believe we call the shots or recognize God does. I desire to shift to truly living as if I believe God calls the shots and that He is trustworthy in doing so, because His plans for me and all of creation are good.

I have to admit that today was mostly spent reading, praying and contemplating, seeking to discern where God wants to lead.

I've tried so many times to make a fresh start on a spiritual path that works for me. And as has always been the case, I won't know whether this time is different until I look back and see what happens.

Is that an opportunity or a challenge? Does it even matter? With God, all things are possible and can work for good.

I pray to be willing to experience the good things God has in store. All He asks is that I let Him lead and trust Him with the results.