Thursday, November 27, 2014

Thanksgiving 2014

I desperately wanted to post something for Thanksgiving, but I could not find the words, and now it's after midnight, so unless my blog's time stamp is still messed up, it's Friday already. 
They need to be shared. 
I was grateful for a day with just my husband and myself at home. I've been going through a busy stretch at work and on weekends, so a day of rest was appreciated. 
But at the end of the day, something is missing. My heart needs me to reach out and touch  my extended family and beyond. Why is it so hard, especially to serve those beyond my family? And why am I so hard on myself?
I thank God for this day of rest and realization. 
And, obviously, I still have not found the words to express what is on my heart. It was worth trying. It's worth posting to show myself that I tried. And now it's time to let it go and head to bed. 
My heart overflows with thankfulness and love for God. 

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

#healthy65: Day 14 of 65

These are some  thoughts at the end of the second  week of my #healthy65 challenge:

I am thankful that I could choose not to participate in the wonderful Thanksgiving potluck at work and not feel deprived or pressured. I am grateful I can make choices that are healthy for me. Some days I don't. But for today, I did. 

I posted a version of that on Facebook, as an affirmation and somewhat of a commitment. I almost didn't post it, because I worried someone might think I was judging those who indulge in such feasts. That was not my intent. 

I think potlucks are  wonderful and sometimes I do participate. But I know how I am with food. The combination of a 10-hour holiday-week workday, stress and all that wonderful food would have been disastrous for me. I would not have been able to stop eating until I felt miserable.  I'm pretty much all or nothing, and when I acknowledge my tendencies and make choices based on the realities, the results are good. 

So, why don't I always do this? Who knows? Human nature, I guess. 

That brings me to another observation on Day 14 of my #healthy65 challenge. I've continued to achieve my gum goal daily instead of just twice a week. It hasn't gotten any easier. Today was another day I did not think it would be possible. But I'm on a roll, so to speak, and I really do not want to lose the positive momentum. So, I prayed, tried  and trusted -- and at the end of a long and hectic day I had only chewed about 54 little pieces of gum instead of the former norm of 112 or more. And I feel better for it, one day at a time. 

My final thought for tonight is that whose-ever idea it was to do the Dayxx of 65 tally was crazy. Fourteen seems like progress -- but 14 out of 65 looks like almost nothing. But on I trudge. More gratefully than it probably sounds in this post!!

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Seven healthier days? (#healthy65 Day 7)

This is mainly a checking-in post. It's the end of Day 7 of my #healthy65 Holiday Challenge. To my surprise, I've achieved my goal of reducing my gum consumption by at least half each day. (My goal was only to do so at least two days each week.)

I'll confess the amount of gum I'm talking about: It was typically 96 to 128 of the small squares of Dentyne Fire. That's up to eight packets of gum. For seven straight days now, I've chewed 56 pieces or less. I cringe to think of how much I'm still chewing, but I know it is a major improvement.

I don't see myself ever completely giving up gum, but I hope to never go back to chewing more than I am now, and I would like to reduce further.

Right now, it's still very much one day at a time to not go back. I really thought I would do it today. It seemed like it was going to be more gum or more food -- and before the day was over, I suppose I did eat a little extra. That is a related part of the goal that I'm actually still trying to figure out. I can eat a little more food in exchange for the missing gum calories. A serving of dairy and a serving of veggies are healthy choices. But many days I forget that. Maybe that's why I'm waking up feeling hungry.

Coming days and weeks will include many challenges for me to fall back into the old habit, grabbing another piece of gum without even thinking. It's only by thinking that I don't grab the extra. But the same thinking that is required to keep me from chewing more also takes my thoughts to a higher plane. This isn't just about gum. It's about a healthier way. It's about discipline. It's about hope. It's about gratitude. And I am grateful.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

#healthy65 Day 1

Even my lame gum goal is not easy. I still will not say how many pieces of Dentyne Fire gum I typically chew in a day. Cutting that amount by half as part of the Healthy 65 Holiday Challenge took an amazing amount of focus. But I did it.  And along the way, some other things somehow fell into place as well. The top of that list is that I left work on time so I wasn't late to choir practice, breaking an annoying habit. 

When I bought my midweek groceries, I replenished my Dentyne supply as if I don't expect to be able to cut back every day. But I am going to try. I think any number of charities will appreciate the more than a dollar I will save each day. 

My goal is just twice a week. I might as well try it again tomorrow and see if I am on a roll. It can't hurt. 

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

My #Healthy65 challenge

A colleague has launched The Healthy 65 Holiday Challenge, and I want to participate.

Juliana Keeping began writing about it last week on her blog, and she officially started her 65-day push on Monday. Her intent is to go from Nov. 10 through Jan. 13 doing at least one healthy thing each day, with a goal of something greater.

From her introduction:

The goal is to do one healthy thing a day beginning on Nov. 10 and ending on Jan. 13. You can define what “healthy thing” means. It can be a choice that is physical or mental. You are free to do the healthy things in any combination, whether your goal is to cut back on caffeine for a week and see what happens, walk at lunchtime now and again or give kale a chance — at least once. If reading soothes the mind, that can be a thing. If drinking a glass of wine and spinning Johnny Cash soothes the mind, that can be a thing. Want to try yoga/Zumba/hip hop dance? This is your excuse. A thing can be anything that you know contributes to your own wellness — the mind, the body, the soul.

For those who want to participate, these are the steps:

Step 1. Think about what you’d like to get out of this. (For Juliana, 65 is a symbol of her nearly 2-year-old son Eli's chronic illness, cystic fibrosis, which at times has been referred to as "65 roses" by children who had trouble saying the name. "Doing something healthy with the number 65 in it feels like a move of solidarity with the CF community," she says. Also, 65 days provides plenty of days before, during and after the holidays to establish good and healthy daily practices.)

Step 2. She suggests writing down your goals, and keeping them simple, not extreme.

Step 3: "Do at least one healthy thing per day for 65 days starting Nov. 10. Feel free to do more than one."

Step 4: "Make sure to tell us about it." She suggests using the hashtag #healthy65 on social media, including Facebook.

Her column ran online on over the weekend but didn't run in print editions of The Oklahoman until Tuesday. I asked her if that meant a person could start Tuesday or Wednesday or whenever and extend their 65 days accordingly, and said she said yes, of course.

So, I want to start Wednesday. But I'm still stuck on writing down some simple, not extreme, goals.

Why do I want to do this?

When I first read about Juliana's challenge, it piqued my interest. Over the years, with the support of church, family and a 12-step program, I've incorporated many healthy practices in my daily life, including eating fruits and vegetables and limiting fats and sugar; prayer, meditation and Bible reading; exercise; and journaling.

But I've been very aware recently of some things that continue to weigh me down, even if they don't add actual pounds to my frame. I don't get enough sleep. I chew way too much gum and eat more carrots than any human could really need. And while I don't eat sugar, my consumption of artificial sweeteners has concerned me for some time.

Might the #healthy65 community provide the extra incentive for me to improve in one or more of those areas?

But which one? I pretty quickly felt doubtful I could achieve goals of improvement in any of those areas. If I haven't with my 12-step program, why would I with this?

Yet, I can't shake the desire. So I signed up. And I haven't given up.

So, even as I'm up past when I need to go to bed to improve on my sleep, I'm trying to define some goals.

-- Two days a week, I will chew at least 50 percent less gum. (And no, I'm not going to say how much I usually chew, but I know the amount and will be honest about whether I achieve this.)

I must admit: This is agonizing. IS THAT THE BEST I CAN DO FOR A GOAL?!?!?!?! Yes. Sigh. My hope is that, by even attempting this, I might feel empowered to do more. And above all, not give up.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

I voted. Now what?

About 13 hours ago, I joined the ranks of my Facebook friends who posted a link showing that they had done their civic duty and voted in the mid-term elections.

I added the comment: "OK, me, too. Still uncertain on a couple of races. And I have to check the state election board site for the judges and county races. Seriously, if I don't know who is on the ballot by now, should I even be voting???? (I do know who is on the ballot, but that still doesn't help me decide. Is it better to flip a coin? Or should I leave that one blank?)"

One friend noted that to leave a race blank is to vote for the winner, and expressed surprise that I was uninformed.

I replied that I wasn't so much uninformed as unsure and skeptical. "It seems like in a lot of cases, no matter who wins, nothing really changes. And the more I dig for information, the more confused I get. In some races, candidates and their supporters on both sides make a good case. And in a few races, neither side really wins my confidence. But I will vote. And pray!!...."

Disillusioned is the word that comes to mind now to describe how I felt.

A post on the Denison Forum by Jim Denison offered some guidance and perspective. In a nutshell: "Ask yourself before voting: which candidate is most likely to lead in accordance with God's Kingdom purposes? Research your options; learn the candidates' positions; seek the Spirit's guidance. Then vote as though the election depends on you, and pray for the winners as though their effectiveness depends on God."

I'm also praying for the citizens. Although I'm glad the elections are over so that the campaigning -- on TV and radio, in the mail and over the phone -- comes to an end, I'm concerned about the great frustration being expressed by people who were hoping for change that did not occur, at least in Oklahoma. What will it take to turn bitterness and frustration into productive, effective action? What will it take for the winners to listen to the side that didn't win and hear those concerns, rather than just view victory as a mandate to run roughshod over the minority viewpoint?

I truly think only God knows. But I pray to discern what He would have me know and do to be a positive force for good as a citizen and as a Christian.