May I never lose hope

I’m cheating again.
I want an end-of-May wrap up but don’t have time.

So I’m posting notes (for time stamp) with hope of editing.

Two hands to lip a bigbass

Gave up on caring what I look like — then I caught a big fish and wished I given more thought to how I look! (And Gene gives mixed signals)

May was so much more hopeful than April. So much growth for me. Singing. Reacting. Accepting. Letting go of expectations and much of mt fear of missing out. 

Grateful to God. 

Grateful to my husband!!

And so humbled.

Mother's Day

Happy Mother’s Day to the best Mom. I’m grateful Gene and I could spend time worshiping, eating and enjoying life at the apartment and on the farm with you and some of the family, even as we kept from being as close as we normally would. I love you. ❤️😻🙏✝️🎶 #mothersday2020 #socialdistancing2020 @ Cooke County, Texas

Saying goodbye to a treasured friend

How do you say good-bye to a treasured friend?
At this point, I'm not sure words even matter.
I know I'm grateful for each moment we spent together, from September of 1982 through April 2020. I resent the global pandemic that contributed at least in part to me not being there at the very end.

Thank you for great memories that always make me smile.

More to come ....

More of God, less of me

Sometimes bad things just happen. Maybe the bad things aren't always God's mercies in disguise.

That's an idea I embraced following Sunday's sermon using Job 28:12-28 as the text.

Knowing the text, I had offered to "Blessings," a song with lyrics about bad things that happen that don't make sense. "What if trials of this life are (God's) mercies in disguise?"

The theme had an extra level of meaning to me because of how I responded to certain things that happened the previous two times I sang for worship at my church. The concept helped me eventually to accept things that were outside my control and to move on. Part of moving on involved following God's leading when He seemed to prompt me to offer to sing again.

I was pleasantly surprised when the sermon seemed to not fully embrace the concept of trials being God's blessings in disguise. Pastor Desi focused more on the idea that sometimes bad things just happen, even to good people. But the good news is that even then, Christ is with us.

I guess I'm more stubborn than some, and so I still want a positive ending. And that comes from the Romans 8:28 promise that "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purposes."

I'm also freshly aware that, more often that I would like to admit, when bad or unpleasant things happen to me, I probably did something that contributed to the outcome.

From a spiritual standpoint, it's clear one of my biggest obstacles is when I focus more on myself than on the love of God and the example of Christ.

And that seems to be the most true when it comes to singing.

Clearly, I'm still me-focused or I wouldn't be writing this in so much first-person.

More to come ... 

Pray, act, trust and give thanks

God is telling me to pray about my problems and concerns and not to try to escape them. This is what I needed to be praying last month. 

From Psalm 55:1-8:

“Give ear to my prayer, O God, And do not hide Yourself from my supplication. Attend to me, and hear me; I am restless in my complaint, and moan noisily, Because of the voice of the enemy, Because of the oppression of the wicked; For they bring down trouble upon me, And in wrath they hate me. My heart is severely pained within me...Fearfulness and trembling have come upon me...” 

“So I said, ‘Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest. Indeed, I would wander far off, And remain in the wilderness. ... I would hasten my escape From the windy storm and tempest.’” 

I tried to flee, but it did not work. It never does. 

Thank You, God, that You are my only hope; You are with me, patiently pursuing me, in those times when I let fear and distress and noisy complaints block me from receiving Your presence. Thank You for rescuing me!

That was from my morning Bible reading and study. Before the morning was over, I needed to go to Walmart, something I had been putting off a couple of days. Instead of postponing another day, I turned to prayer and trusted God to prepare and protect me. 

 

I ended up with the least stressful, full-scale grocery shopping experience I've had since the start of social distancing (despite so many people not wearing masks, etc.; I wore my mask, had sanitizer and wipes with me and kept my distance from others). When I got back into my car, I said "Thank You, God!" And then one of my favorite praise songs came on the radio and I had to sing along! "Bless the Lord Oh My Soul ... sing like never before, Oh my soul, I'll worship His holy name!" 

Not everything I prayed about today has been resolved stress-free. 

Fortunately, there's more to the Scripture, and I will continue to pray, trust and give thanks as I wait on the Lord.

From Psalm 55: 16-18, 22-23  (Revised Standard Version): 

"But I call upon God, and the Lord will save me. Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and He will hear my voice. He will deliver my soul in safety from the battle that I wage  ... 

"Cast your burden on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never permit the righteous to be moved. But Thou, O God, wilt cast them down into the lowest pit; men of blood and treachery shall not live out half their days. But I will trust in Thee."