Friday, November 30, 2018

A divine assignment?

As the month of gratitude winds down, I'm thankful that my continuing lack of a strong sense of purpose isn't bothering me as much these days as it has in the past.

Much of that has to do with things I've been reading that help me to grab hold of Scriptures to anchor my life.

The strongest guidance is coming from Lysa TerKeurst's new book, "It's Not Supposed To Be This Way." It's subtitled "finding unexpected strength when disappointments leave you shattered."

Even though my disappointments and sufferings pale compared to the author's, I relate strongly to the the emotions and reactions she describes. So I want to also learn to rely on God, especially His words in Scripture, as she strives to in dealing with life on life's terms.

She writes about seeing a disappointment as an opportunity for a divine appointment.

Earlier in the week, a devotional author wrote about how she thought she should respond to a friend going through crisis. Through prayer, she realized that her good-intentioned plan wasn't what God had in mind for her. It wasn't her assignment.

That concept has stayed with me. I tend to be a meddler. I want to know what's going on, and more often than I care to admit, I tend to try to control things or at least influence how they play out. I'm trying to be aware of when I'm getting in the way of the greater good. Sometimes I just need to trust God that He's in charge.

Of course, that brings to mind another term that keeps popping up nowadays: predestination. I've recently become more aware that predestination is a concept most United Methodists don't have much use for. It's been about that same period of time in which I've realized the faith I live and express likely includes some elements that could be described as predestination. I think the difference is that I totally believe God gives people free choice. The thing I express that some think sounds like predestination is that I think God works all things for good. And I agree, at least for today, with TerKeurst's idea that God has a plan for my life. What I'm not as sure about is whether God has a precise plan and timing for my life.

I think God's plan is for me to be in partnership with him.


As for my assignment or purpose, I really don't know. The best I can come up with still seems to be:
Smile. Encourage. Focus on good. Express gratitude to God. Help others. 

And then the Denison Forum ended with this:

Max Lucado: “You can be everything God wants you to be.” As he notes, “DaVinci painted one Mona Lisa. Beethoven composed one Fifth Symphony. And God made one version of YOU. He custom designed you for a one-of-a-kind assignment.”
What is yours?
For tonight, I still don't really know. And I'm pretty sure that's OK.

Worth the effort

There was definitely no November novel for me.

I already wrote about giving up on that little idea before the first week of the month had ended. It still seems fitting to refer to it now.

My lesson for November is that it's OK to try something to find out it's not right for me. The idea of writing 500 words a day in November with a goal of completing a rough draft of a novel didn't really seem like something feasible for me. I'm still glad I gave it that half-hearted shot inspired by a friend's suggestion.

I'm actually glad I was able to let go of that idea so early. Even though I didn't have a goal to replace it, I knew that with Thanksgiving on the way, I would want to focus on gratitude.

Much of my inspirational and devotional reading for the month reinforced that focus on gratitude, and giving thanks and praise in all circumstances. I've tried to complain less and praise more. If I couldn't say something positive, I tried to keep my mouth closed, praying silently for acceptance and guidance. I think I made some progress. My spirit seems lighter and brighter as a result.

Thursday, November 22, 2018

Always Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving!

My words are inadequate to express how thankful I am for God’s blessings in my life. 

So I’m not even going to try. 

That won’t stop me from trying to express something. 

At my husband’s sister’s house for dessert after being with some of my family at a free community dinner hosted by Mom’s church during the lunch hour, I remembered I had intended to pray over my Thanksgiving dinner if we did not arrive in time for the overall blessing. But I forgot. 

So I composed a belated prayer that I posted on Facebook: Lord God, I am thankful to You, Who I affirm as the source of all goodness in the world and in my life. I thank God for the blessings in my life and in the lives of my loved ones. I pray that we may all be ever mindful of the opportunities God gives us to be His hands and feet on Earth, to show our love for Him by showing love, kindness, compassion and help to others, to God’s glory. Amen.

My husband and I thought we would just be having dessert with his sister and her son, but due to a miscommunication, we ended up sharing a second meal. This time the blessing came first. 

I won’t try to list all of the things for which I am grateful. Family, friends and faith are certainly on the top of the list. As are God’s mercy, love and grace. 

May I never take God’s goodness for granted as I grow in my ability to see blessings and express gratitude in all circumstances. 

Thursday, November 8, 2018

Oops! I did it again!

There's nothing quite like that feeling when, THREE HOURS after you get home from buying groceries at Walmart, you realize you can't find your purse anywhere in your house or your car. 

After last week's adventure with the lost ring, I had vowed to slow down and pay more attention. Could I really have just walked off and left my handbag at the checkout stand or in the cart in the parking lot? I guess old habits die hard. 

As much as I hated to, I looked up the telephone number and called my local Walmart. As I waited through the ringing and the recorded message, I prayed for calmness and grace and wisdom to know what to do next, preparing for the possibility that no one had found it and turned it in. 

The customer service manager asked me to give my name and identify my bag. He said it had been turned in several hours earlier. I said that sounded right; I had finished shopping a little after 7. 

Despite how frustrated I am with myself for being careless, I am extremely grateful for honest people who find things and turn them in. 

This isn't the first time I've discovered after getting home that I left my purse in a Walmart parking lot, and both times it was turned in immediately, intact. 

Thank you to whomever turned it in and to the Walmart CSMs for locking it up until I could retrieve it. 

And I thank God for His mercy, love, grace, presence, protection and guidance that would have been with me whatever the fate of the handbag.

Monday, November 5, 2018

No novel for me!

I couldn't even make a week of writing 500 words a day.

One of these days maybe I will find something at which I can be good and consistent.

Or maybe I'll accept that's not necessary.

Maybe it's OK to just do the best I can, one day at a time.


Sunday, November 4, 2018

More thoughts and ideas than words or time

My best plans for today were derailed by tiredness and cold symptoms.

So, after church and 30 minutes on the treadmill, I realized how exhausted I felt and recognized the possibility of cold symptoms. I crawled into bed and rested until suppertime. I didn’t think I would eat, but my husband had prepared a great meal that I couldn’t resist.

I felt  better afterward but still didn’t tackle the list. I just read the newspaper. And now it’s past bedtime again.

I was surprised the day came so quickly that the total of my written words on all platforms (?!?!) would be far short of 500.

I didn’t think I would even bother to post. But here I go again!

I have some great thoughts and ideas I would like to write about.

I’m hopeful I will soon find the balance of words, time and energy!

Saturday, November 3, 2018

500 words


Yesterday’s 500 words were in an email shared with a friend.

That was an important awareness of priorities for me.

Not all of my 500 words that I need or want to be willing to write and share each day in November need to be shared publicly. Some may be best for an editor or a trusted friend or family member.

Who knows? Sometimes the 500 words may be the accumulation of Facebook status updates for the day.

Yesterday was unusual for me because it was full of life and vitality and service and fun and interaction with others, mostly at the annual bazaar and craft sale put on by my church’s United Methodist Women’s group, of which I have become an active member.

The surprise was that it didn’t generate social media posts from me along the way.

The reason was because I was busy doing things related to the bazaar, and when I was finished (after shopping and baking three additional items), I needed to go to bed instead of stay up and try to organize pictures and thoughts for a Facebook post.

Admittedly, social media might have reminded some people about the bazaar and increased our opening-day traffic. 

The more important point for me right now is that, whatever is true about what might have been, the bazaar’s first day was fine the way it was. It was more than fine. It was great!! As was the entire event, the purpose of which is to raise money for mission projects and scholarships.

I enjoy posting pictures and words on Facebook, so I was glad to make time to do so this morning before heading back to the bazaar. I worried that taking that time would cause me to be late. It almost did. I’m grateful it did not, because I think being there was more important than writing.

That thought touches an important concept I hope to hold onto and cultivate: Sometimes being involved in something is more important than writing about it in a journal or on social media.

However, I also can’t deny that writing may be one of my gifts or talents that I shouldn’t just toss aside because it’s difficult to use. Why, oh why, did my former pastor have to comment after my last wayward post that (I’ll add “perhaps”) “You have a voice that should be heard”?

Oh God, please help me find the balance between praying, listening, responding, serving, sharing, observing, learning, writing and encouraging. I know they are often intertwined in a shared priority. Other times, one is clearly more important than another. I often struggle to know which is which.

I’m learning that when it’s unclear to me what my priority should be, there is value in making a decision to do something, even if it’s just to pray and trust God that waiting is the right action for that moment. When I’ve been able to do that — basically, let go and let God (again!) — the way becomes clearer, especially when looking back at what seemed to be a mysterious journey.

So, is my writing voice one of my gifts that needs to be shared? Or is my active participation in serving and doing more important? I don’t have to know today. Through trial and error, I seek to find the balance. I pray to be willing to let God set the scale and be the judge.

Thursday, November 1, 2018

Not so novel November writing

I did some research, and I found out National Writing Month is actually NaNoWriMo, aka National Novel Writing Month. So, it's not just a challenge for writers and wanna-bees to compose 500 words a day in November. The challenge is 500 words a day toward the first draft of a 50,000-word novel in a month.

That doesn't interest me at all. Fortunately, through the years, I've adopted a fine slogan that comes in handy here: Take what you want and leave the rest.

So ... I won't be attempting to write a novel in a month.

But something about the challenge of writing 500 words a day, about whatever appeals to me, appeals to me. Even when on the first day of November, it's after 11 p.m. before I'm sitting down at the computer to type, and I have to get up early tomorrow.

Fortunately, I jotted down some notes in the journal on my phone earlier in the day, so perhaps I can make quick work of this.

For today, writing 500 words a day in November seems possible. Starting today. 

In its time, anything is possible. 
 
In its time, everything is possible!!

In its time, nothing is impossible. 

For me, it's more realistic to say: With God anything is possible. With God, everything is possible. With God, nothing is impossible. 
 
For me to play a part in what God makes possible, I have to spend time with Him, praying and listening and responding with faith, whether that response be action or waiting.

It's a process. It doesn't always make sense to me. 

In fact, I just did a word count, and the end of that last sentence was just 265 words. I really don't have time for this. What was I thinking?
 
Truly, simply, this: With God, anything is possible. With God, everything is possible! With God, nothing is impossible. 

So, I thought I might sit down and quickly type out 500 words and still finish a couple of other tasks before I go to bed -- and also get plenty of sleep before my alarm goes off at 6 a.m. (or now maybe 6:30 a.m., but if I set it back 30 minutes, I'll face the new impossibility of getting to church by 8 a.m. to finish getting things ready for the bazaar).
 
I'd be finished now if I could think of an ending. Maybe I can be finished anyway, and let this be a project that continues to develop. Be satisfied with progress not perfection. Trust God. Trust the process. Can I trust God's timing with this process? Yes.

(434 words. Ha! Yes! Progress not perfection. Thank You, God.)