God knows -- and I am grateful

God has provided everything I need to do what God has planned for and called me to do.
God is on my side.
With God, I can do this!

Tonight, it's still unclear to me what it is He has planned for and called me to do.
I don't know whether the lack of clarity is my unwillingness to see and-or accept His guidance, or whether He is still preparing me to know my specific assignment.

Regardless, I can have faith that God is at work. Tonight, I have faith that God is at work in my life, preparing me to do what He has called me to do. And I am grateful.

I recommend my church because I love ...

I meant to post this a few weeks ago. I'm not sure why I didn't at the time. As things go, I'm in a different season now!

From sometime in June, likely during the week before Father's Day:
 
I'm going through another season in which, apparently, "resistance is futile for God is at work."

I know it's a season, because many of my devotionals and studies are referencing how growth happens in seasons; growth takes time; that it's important to have faith -- trust God! -- when growth and-or progress isn't apparent.

Frustrations and complications I encountered as I prepared to sing a solo at church Sunday have raised a bunch of questions about how I might be able to have more options for music and accompaniment when I sing. The only musical instrument I learned to play was French horn, and that's not something I can use to accompany my singing (even if I had one and still knew how to play it!). I tried various times to self-teach myself to play guitar or piano, to no avail. I'll admit the thought of taking lessons scares me. I'm not sure why I so strongly doubt I could learn.

Can I learn to play the piano or guitar? Should I even try? Where would I start? Is there someone I can work with who can assess my potential and help me work through the possibilities?

Before I get too caught up in those possibilities, I always start to think of other things in my life that are higher, more pressing priorities. Top of the list: household tasks, big and small, that hold Gene and me back.

Somehow, that's tied to wrestling with how to be faithful stewards of time, talents, resources.

And that leads me to the whole bit about being beyond frustrated with how things are going at the church where I am a member. How they are going seems painfully slow to me -- and more people seem to be leaving (mostly due to health or relocation) than new members arriving.

It doesn't help that travel has kept me from attending regularly. Adding to my frustration is that my husband and I provided funding to help launch online streaming of Sunday worship, which, in addition to the hope that it would be a "front door" to bring new people to the church, would help me stay connected when I'm away. As of early June, it has been more than six months since the donation, and still no live streaming.

So, when I went to church Sunday, I prayed to stay focused. I asked God to help me engage and to worship him and seek to be a blessing rather than insist that my needs be met.

Throughout the sermon, the pastor was gushing about why she likes church in general and this church in particular. Pastor Desi doesn't just like the church -- she loves the church. As she was wrapping up her message, she asked members to think about why we love our church.

Yikes! God, what can I say? I don't want to be negative. And I don't want to be dishonest.

This is the answer God put on my heart: I love my church because I like to see how God uses imperfect things to His glory.

I thought I would only be sharing this with my husband, who was aware of my frustrations and might appreciate my good faith effort to be positive.

But the man sitting on the other side of me nudged me and said, "Do you know why I love this church?"

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I get to hear you sing."

Oh. My. Lord.

Yes, that humbled me and put me back where I belong, where God planted me. I shared what I had written, confessed my embarrassment and thanked my friend for the unexpected compliment.

May I never forget: God is at work. He invites each of us to work with Him. It really doesn't take much -- but an effort to have a positive attitude goes a long way.  I thank God for another clear lesson about His faithfulness and love.

Good-bye again and again and again

I wept last night.

This poem written about my sister's mother-in-law explains a lot of it. 

Bye Again 

I looked out my window today, 

I thought I heard you driving by.

But then I remembered 

And began to weep and cry. 

We still can’t believe you are gone!

But we rest assured you are back in Grandpa’s loving arms. 

For the tears we shed and the sorrow we feel,

Make the reality of your loss just too real.

Everyday was a blessing with you in our life.

Grandpa would honored having you as his wife. 

67 years of marriage and you’d still hear him say:

“Hey Ma, I think I’ll marry you someday”.

Their love was precious; it was the real thing.

Each one made the others heart sing. 

A lifetime of memories; hearts full of love.

Now they are reunited in their home up above.

A lady of happiness, pride, and pure grace.

No one could compare or ever take her place.

She lived life to the fullest, never knowing which day might be her last.

For this life as we know it, will someday be in the past.

She rests in Heaven with God on high;

Sitting in her chair by grandpa; side by side.

And if we listen closely, we can hear her say, “Bye Again”!

So “Bye Again” Grandma. Rest In Peace dear sweet lady. God Bless! Amen! 

Written by: Katie Felderhoff

In loving memory of:

Barbara Jean (Miller) Felderhoff

November 1, 1931

July 3, 2019

Barbara was very much a part of our family and my life — from 4-H growing up, to the connections made and strengthened after her son married my sister, and their sweet family grew. Their children and grandchildren are a beautiful legacy of his parents and our parents. Four amazing people — and only one, my Mother, remains with us on earth. (Now I’ll be weeping again.) No wonder we say BYE AGAIN and again and again, not wanting to let go. And yet, we know from losing our dads, that they are still very much with us. I’m grateful to God for each moment and memory He gave us with Barbara. I’m praying for all who feel this great loss and void. And I'm cherishing each moment on earth with my mama!

God bless the U.S.A.

From sea to shining sea ...

I'm grateful and proud to be an American.