I am what I am

I’m pretty sure I’ve addressed this before. It came back to mind this week. Where better to share it than on my neglected blog?

Written 3-26-24.

I am what I am. 

I’ve spent a lot of time — most of my life — trying to be someone or something else, for some/ many reasons thinking who & how I am is not enough or right. 

Despite lots of affirmation & love & encouragement from others — plus assurances of God’s love & that He created me to be as I am — I’ve kept comparing myself to others & trying to be more like them. I couldn’t shake the feelings that I was not only missing out on the wonderful things I saw others enjoying, but also that I was failing to make the most of opportunities I was given.

I’ve gone around feeling deep inside that I’m a huge disappointment to God, my family & the world. 

I want to hold fast to this new reality — I am what I am. Period.

(Don’t judge it. Just be with it.)

For this moment, I’m letting go & trusting God with this reality. 

Happy

Thank you to all my family & friends for the birthday greetings. I’ve been without good internet connection most of the day so it may be tomorrow before I can read each one. It’s also possible I will have to delete things from my phone before I can receive some video greetings I was sent. These pictures (shared on social media) include some of the day’s blessings, from sunrise to sunset! I’m surprised to realize this is the first time I fished & caught birthday bass! The desire to do so — plus attend a monthly lunch with kinfolk — made this day kinda hectic & long. It may have also put undue pressure on Gene, because I went 2 hours without catching. I had begun chatting with God about that (how to not be disappointed) when one finally bit & stayed hooked! I was relieved for both Gene & me! #birthdayblessings #birthdaybass #simplepleasures

Goodbye to something …

Today was the last day before my 65th birthday. I’m not sure what I think about that. So I just keep pausing to pray & say God loves me & I trust God & that’s what matters most. Love God; trust God; share God’s love with others; trust God with results; give God glory, honor, thanks & praise. 

29 days

It seems a little odd that nothing stood out as special this Leap Day 2024. It’s just another day, even though it only occurs every four years. I just have a feeling or intuition that I may have missed something!

Did I really not post Feb 14?

 I did not post Feb. 14, even though it was both Valentine’s Day & Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent. And that’s OK!

Shoulda …(Remembering TK)

Shoulda posted this yesterday. Better late than never. A few words I shared on social media Tuesday after learning Toby Keith, 62, died Monday night from the ravages of his stomach cancer. …

So sad. 

I went through a surprising phase as one of TK’s Warriors. I have great memories of hooking up & hanging out with old & new friends attending Toby’s concerts. I guess I outgrew the fanatic stage but never lost my interest in & fascination with Toby. 

I love that he found strength to make a bit of a comeback before he passed. That could not have been easy. My heart goes out to his family, friends, colleagues & fans.

…

 … wow! That’s all!