Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Seasons of change 2

The season has officially changed from summer to fall, and now the month is changing from September to October.

Sometimes I think I wish life's transitions were as simple as turning a calendar page.

But few are, and maybe that's for the best.

I've been aware this week that I've still not really adjusted to my husband being retired from his longtime office job and now working from home in a part-time job that involves a lot of travel.

By the time I get accustomed to him being gone for a week or 10 days, he's back for a couple of weeks. And then I'm again trying to adjust to me going to an office job and him not doing that.

Add to that a new perplexity, my awareness that several people I know have changed or are changing jobs and many seem to be ending up in better situations.

Should I? Is there something better out there for me? Sometimes I get so frustrated where I am.

And that's when the realizations about my great fears -- of writing, of failure, of change, of not knowing -- overwhelm me.

But ultimately, I think even though it may seem like fear, the central part of my instinct says it's God that keeps me where I am, which means it's not time for me to make a change. I sense His purpose for me where I am. Deep within my soul, it still seems the message is: Wait. Be patient. Have faith.

I keep thinking I need to figure out my life, but the answer to my prayers keeps being that God must not want me to get it all figured out.

And so I will wait. Trust. Have faith and seek morning by morning God's new mercies. And thank Him.

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