Monday, March 11, 2013
Not long before midnight Sunday, I was most aware I was not ready for my birthday, the start of which was about 15 minutes away. Actually, I see from my journal that awareness was at 12:18 a.m., so the March 11 anniversary already had begun. As I then noted: "Maybe it would have helped if I was already asleep and didn't greet the day until after I awake." But some good came from being awake and kind of down in the dumps shortly after midnight. I confronted how strange I felt, and prayed for some guidance. And it came. Before the change, I was aware that much was good and acceptable during the weekend -- Saturday with my 12-step meeting, petting kitties at the shelter, the much-needed rain, the Aggies winning their Southeastern Conference women's basketball tournament semifinal game vs. Tennessee, and then on Sunday, church with great preaching, singing and fellowship; eating lunch with Gene, who also accompanied me to Walmart; talking on the phone to Mom and Mike; Aggies winning SEC women's basketball tournament in the finals vs. Kentucky -- but there I was at the end of the day, stuck on the stuff I didn't get done. So I forced myself to pray and affirm: I love You, Lord. I trust You. I thank You for Your mercy, love, grace and presence. And I came up with some possibilities to give me hope Monday would be a good day. Top of the list: Meet with a prayer group at church at 10 a.m. When Monday morning came, I didn't know for sure I would make it to the prayer group until I was there, but I did make it, and it was exactly what I needed. Besides that, I got more birthday greetings than I can ever remember getting. And it may seem like such a small thing, but they really did brighten my day. I couldn't resist posting my own expression, in a song of praise, "How Great Thou Art!" (not about me, but about God!), on my Facebook timeline as well. Also bringing sunshine to my workspace was a dozen beautiful yellow roses from Gene. Even though working from 3 to midnight might not have seemed like a wonderful way to end a birthday, it was a good reminder of how grateful I am to have a job I enjoy. And I don't yet know 100 percent for sure, but a mostly unspoken birthday prayer/wish seemed to be answered in a positive way. I am grateful. I am blessed. I thank God for his gifts of faith, family, friendship, words, music, laughter, prayer, caring, understanding and compassion, among so many more, on my birthday and always.