Happy birthday, Daddy. I miss you.

Today was my Daddy's birthday. I've thought of him throughout the day and miss him in ways that are hard to express in words. I just feel it strongly.

I guess one reason today seemed strange is that I associate his birthday with the start of spring, and today didn't seem very springlike to me. The day was good, though, with unexpected and subtle blessings despite quite a range of emotional undercurrent. I am grateful to God for His presence and the peace and comfort it gives.

My brother noted that it's as if what was more of a family celebration in the past has turned into a more individual remembrance this year. I think that is true, and I'm just very aware of how different that feels. There is a sense of sadness and loss -- and understanding and acceptance that this is part of life and growing older. I am grateful for memories, family and faith, even as I contemplate them through the prisms of a smile through tears tonight.