Sunday, June 2, 2013

May I say goodbye

I had just given in to what seemed the reality that I was taking a break from my blog. I missed Friday's deadline and couldn't even think of a placeholder to post tonight. So I was composing a Facebook post to make it official. But in writing it, I realized this could be the placeholder, even though it is two days late. Surely deadly tornadoes and flooding Friday are legitimate excuses, even to carry over to Saturday and now into Sunday night.

I had every intention of writing on Friday, but one more day that included a potential weather emergency in the forecast shifted those plans, especially as the potential spun into reality.

I feel grateful and blessed beyond measure that I, my loved ones and belongings have come through each of the scares (May 19, 20, 30 and 31 that I can think of easily) unscathed. And I guess I struggle some to accept that even though that is true on the physical and material levels, there still are emotional tolls. I think my exhaustion is more mental than physical, and I know the sense of selfishness/guilt I feel over not having done more to help others is an emotional burden. I remain confident that I will do my part to help out, but that seems inadequate right now.

There really was much good about the month of May. The Mother's Day/nursing school graduation trip to Arkansas and a Memorial Day trip to Texas, both involving lots of family, were awesome highlights. My husband and I found more time than usual to do things together, and I feel very positive about that. Amid many initiatives and changes underway at my job, and then the high intensity of doing my part to help put out newspapers covering the deadly storms and other news, I have witnessed and participated in some amazingly meaningful work.

But I was more than ready to say goodbye to May, especially after the way it stormed out.

And I am grateful that June burst forth with blue skies and sunshine.

"Summer and winter and springtime and harvest; sun, moon and stars in their courses above, join with all nature in manifold witness to Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love....

"Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have neede Thy hand hath provided. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me."

("Great Is Thy Faithfulness" by Thomas Chisholm, 1923)

No comments:

Post a Comment