Friday, January 31, 2014

Time to pay up

Finally some clarity! My blogging stops until I finish some projects that are more pressing. That could be two days or two weeks -- Lord, please don't let it be two months! I desperately need to use my computer time for at least two and maybe four lingering tasks.

And when that's done, I'll decide whether this experiment is over or just on a break. My hope is it's just a break and that I will return refreshed and with more spontaneity, sharper perspective and less fear.

How did I go from writing about the vibrant spirit of people and things around me to the confused spirit within? Of course, I know the answer: It's part of my spiritual journey, a search for deeper meaning and greater understanding. It feels like a calling.

But right now, as January 2014 comes to a close, the same voice that calls me to try to share my own spirit says it's time to put this away for awhile and share the spirit of a wonderful experience I enjoyed five months ago. The bill is due. Write it. Just do it!

I had resolved to complete this project while my husband was gone on a weeklong trip through last Wednesday. But I let one excuse after another get in the way -- and now he's back and spending a lot of time on the computer, and my work is undone.

It is time to rise above whatever has been holding me back, most likely fear, pride, insecurity and perfectionism (what a crazy combination, but all are factors).

I know God gives me victory over those things if I will but ask and receive. I've asked. It's time to receive. I need to pay this debt so I can focus on the growing number of opportunities to go beyond written words to touch lives with actions.

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