A bazaar weekend and its aftermath

Wow! I just noticed it's Nov. 11, and I haven't posted since Oct. 30.

I guess I was too busy baking -- two cakes and a batch of brownies, all from mixes but still tasty, according to the tasters! Helping with the bazaar put on by the women of the church last weekend took me out of my comfort zone and rewarded me with fun, fellowship and the satisfaction of supporting worthy missions.

For a while there, I thought I might actually fit in as a United Methodist Woman. Besides baking, I helped with the set-up on Thursday; with making sandwiches on Friday and with cleaning it all up on Saturday. Along the way I talked and listened and laughed and greeted visitors as well as longtime friends. And strategic shopping fulfilled some of my needs and wishes while supporting specifically chosen creators and causes.

Before the weekend was over, I had driven a friend to a funeral and also helped serve Communion at church and delivered Communion to a homebound friend.

Maybe I'm becoming a less self-centered person, someone capable of getting things done, serving others -- just doing it!

I doubt it. Busy, productive, selfless weekends continue to be followed  by a letdown and questioning, wondering why such a desired lifestyle of serving, caring and generosity seems impossible for me to maintain. More time is spent thinking than doing.

Will there ever be an easy rhythm to doing the right thing? Good works can seem exhausting! Being present, even in a labor of love, can tire me out.

Maybe it's because I'm out of shape when it comes to service.

I've recently started jogging at least 2 minutes during my 30-minute walks on the treadmill. I wanted to increase the intensity of my workout time without stressing my knees. At first I could barely jog 30 seconds, then a minute. Now, I may include two or three 2-minute jogs in my time on the treadmill. When I think I can't, I remember the reasons I want to. And I continue. And it's becoming routine.

That's how I want acts of kindness and service to become. Routine. Second nature. Part of who I am.

I thank God for my recent experiences. They give me hope.