Holy Saturday reflections

 I’m sitting in the sunshine on a cloudless afternoon, the Saturday before Easter. Reading Holy Week Scripture. Hearing God tell me He loves me & accepts me just as I am. 

He knows I am regretting my choices that led me to not attend the church Easter egg hunt today (& the Good Friday worship service last night). My fear of missing out is real, & it intensified when I saw how pretty the day is & read that about 150 people attended.  

He wants me to trust Him & to trust my ability He has given me to make decisions. Sometimes my decisions will cause or allow me to learn & grow — such as today when I recognized feeling a sense of sadness & loss from missing out on the church event; & letting God lead me to see it’s OK to miss out & feel sad, disappointed & then to consider that it is in fact good for me to feel those things as I spend time alone with God today in my house as well as in the sunshine in my backyard. 

God is well aware of & I thank Him for helping me see my tendency to make choices based on fear of missing out, & how that often ends up with me being places but not fully present; staying on the fringes, superficial, rather than taking time & effort to engage & experience & interact. 

He’s telling me it’s ok if I need more time alone w/Him than I think I should to get spiritually set for true worship & service. 

I thank Him, as a welcome breeze helps me sense His presence & receive His spirit. 

That was after reading this: 

“It was just before the Passover Festival. Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world &  go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. … Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power & that he had come from God & was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing & wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he … began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them w/the towel that was wrapped around him. … Jesus answered, “Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean. And you are clean, tho  not every one of you.” … When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes & returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ &  ‘Lord,’ & rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord & Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” John‬ ‭13:1-17‬ 

““Sir,” they said, “we remember that while he was still alive that deceiver said, ‘After 3 days I will rise again.’ So give the order for the tomb to be made secure until the third day. Otherwise, his disciples may come & steal the body & tell the people that he has been raised from the dead. This last deception will be worse than the first.” “Take a guard,” Pilate answered. “Go, make the tomb as secure as you know how.” So they went & made the tomb secure by putting a seal on the stone & posting the guard.” Matthew‬ ‭27:63-66‬

They were so ready for this Jesus distraction to be over!  But God’s plan would not be thwarted. 

In some strange way it is good for me to feel alone & confused this quiet, Holy Saturday. Continuing to rejoice & praise & have faith in God. Waiting & watching. The waiting includes praying to know & do what God would have me know & do in the meantime & always. 

——

Now what? I don’t want to read ahead to Sunday & Monday. Put away breakfast dishes? Do core exercises? Shower? Wash hair? Eat dinner? Vacuum? Slice bread? Buy groceries? Inhale. Exhale. Listen to the birds. Trust that God will guide me & empower & equip me to follow where He leads.