bees, bass and bye to March

March started with Big Dreams. Big Stage. Big Bass.

It ended with smaller but still great bass.

And thousands of bees.

In between were plenty of blessings, even amid the trials and tribulations of a global pandemic.

After too many days of wallowing around in confused angst as the normal routines of my simple and easy life have been disrupted by the coronavirus pandemic, I may have turned the corner!

It's becoming clearer each day that my first thought and act must be prayer, with Bible reading and reflection following quickly, and all three of these continuing as needed during the day.

I need to talk to God, be still to hear His Voice and feel His Presence. I need to read and study the Bible, to plant His truths into my heart, soul, mind and spirit.

And then I must step out in faith.

I received some guidance Monday that I thought would help me get past some confusion. But overnight, I was as tormented as ever by what should have been a simple decision: whether to go fishing with my husband.

After much anguish I decided not to go. My husband, bless his soul, was patient and accepting. He went. I stayed. And I got some things done.

And I let myself be me on social media. I'd been holding back. The guidance I got Monday helped me see value in sharing that part of me.

So I did. And just for today, it was freeing.

I am grateful. One day at a time.

Be careful what you pray for -- possibly the first of many musings on coronavirus2020

Yesterday I prayed that people would make wise decisions for the greater good during this coronavirus situation.

Last night, I learned the Norman mayor has shut down hair salons. There goes tomorrow’s haircut appointment.

I felt confident my single-stylist salon was a safe place to go. Maybe not.

Be careful what you pray for!!

On the bright side, Gene has offered to cut my hair in the meantime. So, I’m good!! 😁😂

#becarefulwhatyouprayfor #itsjusthair #beforepix #husbandtotherescue #coronavirus2020

Grateful for another year

I was grateful to everyone who sent greetings for my birthday. This was my 11th birthday on social media, and it never grows old. 

I had my doubts this year, with all that’s going crazy in the world and the general chaos of life. That includes the increasing pandemonium and paranoia surrounding coronavirus, plus a lot of general sickness going around, including influenza and colds experienced by a lot of the people involved at the Bassmaster Classic, from which my husband and I just returned, having spent 11 days in Alabama. 

With all that, who even wants to look at social media? 

I’m so grateful I did. It was heartwarming, uplifting -- and humbling.

Of course, I also needed to share the beautiful yellow roses from my love and give a shout-out of praise to God for weather that let me enjoy a nice top-down pony ride from OKC to Norman. 

#anotheryearolder #eternallygrateful #sweetmusicoflife #yellowroses #mustangconvertible

Resistance is futile ....

This is not the post I expected to be making to start the month of March. 

Possibly because it is my birth month, I have a tendency to be reflective and set goals and contemplate changes — or resolve to try again and do better —  in March. It’s likely also related to March being at the beginning, the end or smack dab in the middle of Lent, that time of spiritual preparation for the celebration of Christ’s great sacrifice of love and resurrection at Easter. 

Nowadays, it’s also when the Bassmaster Classic takes place, which is a big event in my husband’s world. After I quit working at a newspaper in 2016, BASS and the Classic have become big in my world too, often with an opportunity to write a rare story for publication in the newspaper. 

Those things came together this year. 

With just a little extra “something,” perhaps, in the form of Leap Day. 

So hope springs eternal. With God all things are possible. 

I want and need to be true to who I believe God created me to be. In many instances, it’s unclear to me who or what or how He wants me to be. Other times it is pretty clear, and I just resist. 

So, tonight I did a thing I seldom do. When someone posted something on Facebook that is fairly controversial but with which I agree, I shared it, with this note atop: 

This makes sense to me. And yet many people I love and respect probably think I’m terrible for sharing and saying this makes sense to me. I’m actually questioning my sanity in doing so on what has been a good day. 

I’m grateful I’ve been able to be friends with people even when we don’t see eye to eye. I’m concerned that the reason is because I often keep it to myself if my views differ. 

I pray the friends who have been through this (transgender or other gender identity issues and processes) or who have loved ones who have experienced this can accept me even if I’m honest about how I see things such as this. 

And please understand: I don’t know where God stands on this issue. I just know that my reading and understanding of the Bible, along with the way I process what I see in the world, supports what I believe today. 

And whether right, wrong or some combination, my call from God was to not be afraid. Sometimes the only way I will learn is by taking a chance. And today, I had no choice about that. 

Sometimes, for me, “resistance is futile when God is at work.”

After the initial trepidation, I'm now eager to see what lessons God has in store.

Leaping into an attitude of gratitude

I tend to want to do blog posts on special days. 

Surely Leap Day is special. It just happens once every four years. 

It occurs to me I went almost all month without blogging, finally forcing myself to write something a day or two ago. 

Now I wish I had not posted anything for February until on this bonus day, Feb. 29. 

Not that those kinds of things matter at all. 

Here’s something else that doesn’t matter at all, although it surprised me: On this 29th day of February, I noticed I still have a photo from Christmas for my Facebook profile picture! It’s like I forgot to take down the Christmas decorations!! Yet, for reasons I won’t explain, this is not a good day to change it. 

All in all, all is well. 

I told a friend I had to let go the thought of making Leap Day “count” as something “special.” Instead, I would draw on several reminders to focus on gratitude today. Gratitude can make any moment count and make ordinary things special. 

I’m grateful to focus on gratitude. 

And now I’m grateful to turn the calendar page to March. 

Ash Wednesday

Every day this month, one of the things on my to-do list has been "early Feb blog post."

February has 29 days this year. It's Feb. 26. This is my first post for the month.

That's not necessarily a bad thing. I'm still on a journey to learn what role writing has in my life. I keep collecting information in my mind and sometimes even in written notes and photos that I think should be shared. When it comes time to put it into a narrative ... I get stuck.

I thought I had it figured out and decided to try again, with a story for publication. But before it was finished, my life was out of balance as I tried to do whatever it took to find the words I was trying to say. And they just didn't come. After literally hours and hours of work, all I had produced was a wordy mess.

That was 3 a.m. today, Ash Wednesday.

After a about four hours of fitful sleep, I woke up. Did I mention I prayed every step of the way on this writing project? And still I prayed. What do I do now? I want to sleep, but the story still needs a little work. And I have places to go to day and chores to do in preparation for leaving with my husband on a 10-day trip with lots of business for him.

Maybe I'll finish telling about this someday. For now, I need to go to bed. I did go to the Ash Wednesday service at church. It's where I needed to be. Even when I feel like a lost child, I know God is with me. And I am grateful.