Saturday, April 28, 2012

When love is not enough

It was just after midnight, barely Sunday morning, April 29.  I was settling into bed, trying to relax my back, and I heard that dreaded sound: a steady squirt somewhere in the bedroom. I knew what it was: Bridget peeing on the carpet again. We thought we'd just about got the cat urine smell out of the bedroom  carpet and the one in the  dining room, but here we go again. We've probably spent more than $200 since October or whenever on chemicals, carpet pad and paper towels, not to mention the toll of stress.

I told Gene we can't keep doing this. We either need to get ok with the smell, or we need to get rid of the cat. I don't know how to do that, but I think it will be up to me. I'm praying to God and trusting Him to show me how to be able to keep her or how to get rid of her. I just cannot keep going through this with Gene. Can I?

I can't shake the feeling that it's ultimately my fault for not being a good housekeeper, or much of  a housekeeper at all.

I was going to post this as a Facebook status update, but will post it on the blog instead: I cannot get my cat to stop peeing on the carpet. My house reeks, my husband is going nuts and my heart is breaking. Supposedly she's not sick. I've researched and prayed and prayed, and still no answers. I love her, but I know she's an animal, a cat, not a person. How much are you supposed to go through for a sweet and beloved pet? I've tried to give her whatever she needs and take great care of her. I haven't forced her to share the house with another cat. And this  is how she responds? She's probably just stressed. She seems clueless to the fact that her peeing is causing lot of the stress. 

This is a continuing saga, about which I've kept notes. 

-- Problem kitty, Sunday, April 22

Gene got home last night while I was in Texas and confirmed what I feared before I left: Bridget is peeing on the carpet in the dining area. I didn't smell it when I first got here about 6:30, but I have ever since. It reeks. And I do not know what to do about it. 

God, can I pray specifically for an answer on this? Please make it stop! But what if that means not having Bridget? Why does she do this and what can we do about it?

Dealing with the cat pee is a nuisance and a distraction. It's keeping me from thinking straight about other things. Because it is a continuing problem I just don't know what to do about. The simplest solution would be to get rid of the cat. Or no, that's not really the simplest solution. But it's possibly the only way to end the problem. So the challenge becomes how to live and deal with the problem. Lifting that up to You, Lord, again. 

-- I see there's also a blog post related to all of this on March 18, with spiritual  insight that was worth reading again, although it still doesn't reveal the solution to the problem. But this guidance is true:  Trust and obey and praise God, even if I don't understand why this is happening or know what to do about it. 

-- Bridget 10/16/11

My good day came to a tearful end when I was lying in bed in the dark and suddenly heard a strong squirt of running water. The dang cat who we had spent good time with during the day went over to the corner and peed. I do not know what to do. Praying and thinking and no clarity. I know God has an answer for this, but I do not know what it is. All I could do is sit in the dark and sob. I talked to her and petted her last night and this morning. I'm telling her how dire it is -- and how much I love her. But I don't love her more than Gene or God. She is a cat. I continue to prayer for God's guidance in this, that I may live to His glory.

--  10/11/11

When I called Mom about something else, I mentioned Bridget and of course she thinks sometimes you just have to do what you have to do even if you don't want to. 

I just don't think I can. And if I tell Gene to just do whatever he wants to with her, I fear I will resent him. But if she keeps doing this, he will resent me as well as her. 

Praying for answers. But I have been for so long, and still no clear answers.

  -- Bridget 9/27/11

I'm worried about my kitty. She's peeing  on the carpet again, and that often means she's getting sick. But for Gene it is just aggravating -- he just can't seem to deal with it. His reaction adds to my stress. Of course, I live in fear those growths are tumors. And she won't ever let us treat her. Now she's not eating hardly at all. I noticed that this morning. But she's purring and acting fairly normal. Lord, can I pray for my kitty? I lift her up to you. Please help me know what to do. 

-- September 28

She seems better. Eating. Pooped some. Don't know about the peeing. 

(Note: It turned out she was sick at the beginning of this, and we had tests run and gave her medicine, and the health problems seemed to be resolved.)

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