Lessons learned?

I could sense on New Year's Eve eve that 2015 was unlikely to go out with a strong blog post by me. In fact, that's when I started writing this, hoping to stumble into a rhythm or plan while watching the Aggies try to win a bowl game with a third string quarterback starting by virtue of the two 5-star QBs ahead of him transferring out of the program after the final regular season game of the season. 

And maybe I do see some inspiration. Despite a very slow start (I think Jake Hubenak had no completed passes in the first quarter), there have been a couple of good scoring drives. It was 20-14 at the half and 27-21 with 1:40 minutes and A&M in the red zone. ... So anything is possible. I want the Aggies to win, but win or lose, it's been a good effort in less-than-optimal circumstances. (The Aggies didn't get that final score, but I'm more ok with it than I was with some of the non-victorious efforts this season.)

My point was trying to be: Just play ball!!

Or: Just live life. 

Or: Just do it. 

Don't decide whether to watch or participate based on what I think the outcome will be. 

And try to avoid the trap of letting the outcome dictate my attitude. 

Might that be a lesson learned from 2015? Time will tell. 

More good gifts

Maybe someday I will be able to express what is in my heart tonight. The journalist and writer in me never stops trying. But it really may be too personal to share. 

I just know I feel loved in a way I never have before. Love came down at Christmas. God sent His Son to save His  wayward people -- including a wretch like me!! Some of my wretchedness that I thought I had left in the past and might never have to own up to caught up with me this year. And finally, instead of running, lying or denying, I faced the truth and the consequences. 

And God in His great grace is restoring my hope and my possibilities. 

Impatience and lack of faith led to my wayward steps. And now I again find myself in need of patience. What took years to tear apart won't be repaired overnight. But great is God's faithfulness.  Morning by morning new mercies I see. 

That's why it's ok that I'm still not ready for Christmas gift exchanges at 9 p.m. Dec. 25. (Even though they won't happen until tomorrow, I'm out of time again!!)

It's ok that I only attended one of two Christmas Eve worship services at my church  last night and didn't sing with the choir, choosing instead to sit with my husband and even let tears flow as needed. 

I have to believe It's ok that today instead of volunteering to serve at a community meal, I went to see the new "Star Wars" movie with my husband. (I was inspired to do that after reading that it could be viewed as a Christmas story of good overcoming evil and light overcoming darkness. And even though surely that story will return -- there are so many loose ends and unanswered questions -- the finale of the Christmas story is known even as we await its fulfillment.)

I have hope that next Christmas will again include singing and also include serving and sharing more time with others.

But I trust that God will lead me where I need to be. 

I believe that things can be different -- better -- but that things won't change instantly. Change happens with baby steps. It may not even look like I'm moving forward. But small right steps add up to a positive difference. 

I am grateful for the love of my husband. It is a source of energy and hope and healing and joy. It is a gift from God and a reflection of God's love. May I never take it for granted. 

And I am grateful for God's love, at Christmas and always. May I never take it for granted. I pray to know and do His will, to love and serve Him, to trust and obey Him and to share the joy and light of His presence. 

Early Christmas surprise

For the first time in probably 20 years or more, we have a full-size Christmas tree in our house. My sweet semiretired husband surprised me with this when I got home from work Monday. It's actually the tree and decorations from all those years ago, with a few other cat ornaments I've received or bought even when I didn't put up a tree. Attic Angels took pretty good care of the tree!!!

I didn't realize how much I missed having a tree. We quit putting one up because we were never here for Christmas and the cats would not leave it alone. Now we don't have a cat -- and we will be here Christmas. Maybe next year we will have a kitty AND a Christmas tree. 

God's good gifts -- not just at Christmas

As I've struggled to feel "the Christmas spirit" this year, I've had to remind myself that God's good and perfect gifts -- to us and through us -- aren't limited to specific days on a calendar. That gives me so much hope. Great is God's love and faithfulness. 

These Scriptures and thoughts from Craig Denison's first15.org really helped me focus. 

 "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." James 1:17

Every morning with God can be like Christmas morning. From the moment our eyes open we have an opportunity to know a love that surpasses any gift we've been given. From the time our feet hit the ground we can experience perfect, pleasing plans the Lord has laid before us. 

Every moment in our day is a chance to receive more and more grace, more and more love. Every encounter with a person is a chance to see God move and work through us and through them. Every task given us is a chance to experience the anointing and empowerment of the Holy Spirit. Even in trial and tribulations we are given an opportunity to experience a heavenly, eternal peace that transcends our circumstances. Even in pain and loss we are given a chance to experience the loving, compassionate heart of our Father that gets low with us and meets us where we are. 

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

Attitude of gratitude, one moment at a time

Grateful. Attitude of gratitude, one moment at a time. Played out at home, at work, at choir and then A 12-step meeting.  

One day at a time. Even in December. Even as many things on my list didn't get done today or this week. 

I am grateful for what occurred, and hopeful for what lies ahead. Grateful to God. 

And so it goes :)

Indeed!!! The saga of this year's #Healthy65 Challenge continues. 

I had tweaked my previous "That's the Spirit" post to meet a #Healthy65 newsroom blog deadline Friday.  But I finished a little later in the day than they expected, so mine won't run until at least Monday. And, amazingly, I am OK with that. Here was the update, subject to more revisions!!

Who knew?

Who knew it would be so easy? All I had to do was set a goal. 

And suddenly I had two days with a positive attitude, without complaining, whining or negativity (aside from some morning sounds that may have seemed like moans or groans as I was stretching before and as I got out of bed). 

My #Healthy65 Challenge/goal is to abstain from complaining and whining at least two days a week for 65 days.

After accomplishing that in the first two days of the first week, I realized I could break into negativity again for a while if I wanted to. But I didn’t want to. I really would like this more positive attitude to become a habit. 

Now, it’s Friday, and I’m on my fifth day of what to me seems a noticeably better attitude. 

What is different? Clearly, one thing is the awareness. Another is the motivation: I want to achieve my goal. A third thing likely is simply that it's new. 

Oh, and there’s this: I have a plan. Instead of whining and pointing out the negative when things go wrong, my plan is to say something positive or say nothing at all. On Monday and Tuesday, and many times since, when typically I would have whined or complained, I was able to remain silent, praying as needed, until I could think of something neutral or positive to say about the situation. And there were plenty of times that pause was needed – at home, at work and along the way.

I am amazed. This feels much more peaceful and satisfying. I hope I can keep it up. 

So, here's the continued approach: 

-- Try not to say anything until I work through to the gratitude or at least can be neutral. 

-- Instead of complain, I will strive to say (or at least think): What can I do?  How can I help? What can I be grateful for here?

-- Pray. Be still and listen for God. Trust and obey. 

The Healthy 65 Challenge is a life-improvement initiative launched by co-worker Juliana Keeping last year to cover 65 days from about Thanksgiving to after the first of the year. This year, we started Monday and will end Feb. 2. It’s an informal challenge, but I found last year that it helped me have a healthier mindset that went  beyond  the stated goal of significantly reducing my exorbitant chewing of gum.  I exceeded that goal and continue to follow the plan that helped me there.

That gives me hope that this year’s challenge also might bring about lasting change. These first few days notwithstanding, I don't think it will be easy. It will take some one-day/moment-at-time trust in God that I've never been able to sustain. I'm just glad that, for today, it seems possible.

Who knew?

Who knew it would be so easy? All I had to do was set a goal. 

And suddenly I had two days with a positive attitude, without complaining, whining or negativity (aside from some morning sounds that may have seemed like moans or groans as I was stretching before and as I got out of bed). 

My #Healthy65 Challenge/goal is to abstain from complaining and whining at least two days a week for 65 days.

After accomplishing that in the first two days of the first week, I realized I could break into negativity again for a while if I wanted to. But I didn’t want to. I really would like this more positive attitude to become a habit. 

What is different? Clearly, one thing is the awareness. Another is the motivation: I want to achieve my goal. A third thing likely is simply that it's new. 

Oh, and there’s this: I have a plan. Instead of whining and pointing out the negative when things go wrong, my plan is to say something positive or say nothing at all. On Monday and Tuesday, when typically I would have whined or complained, I was able to remain silent, praying as needed, until I could think of something neutral or positive to say about the situation. And there were plenty of times that pause was needed – at home, at work and along the way.

I am amazed. This feels much more peaceful and satisfying. I hope I can keep it up. 

So, here's the continued approach: 

-- Try not to say anything until I work through to the gratitude or at least can be neutral. 

-- Instead of complain, I will strive to say (or at least think): What can I do?  How can I help? What can I be grateful for here?

-- Pray. Be still and listen for God. Trust and obey. 

The Healthy 65 Challenge is a life-improvement initiative launched by co-worker Juliana Keeping last year to cover 65 days from about Thanksgiving to after the first of the year. This year, we started Monday and will end Feb. 2. It’s an informal challenge, but I found last year that it helped me have a healthier mindset that went  beyond  the stated goal of significantly reducing my exorbitant chewing of gum.  I exceeded that goal and continue to follow the plan that helped me there.

That gives me hope that this year’s challenge also might bring about lasting change. These first few days notwithstanding, I don't think it will be easy. It will take some one-day/moment-at-time trust in God that I've never been able to sustain. I'm just glad that, for today, it seems possible.