Thursday, February 21, 2019

Seeking and trusting God as I try not to overthink this

As a lifelong Methodist, I'm very interested in the special General Conference of the United Methodist Church that is set to begin Saturday in St. Louis. The task at hand is to find "a way forward" in which the church can remain united despite major differences of opinion and belief on whether homosexuality is compatible with Christian teaching.

United Methodist principles and laws currently say it is not, but this has been debated at least since 1972. In addition to the language in the Social Principles about incompatibility with Christian teaching, other disputed rules involve whether self-avowed homosexuals should be able to be ordained as clergy and whether United Methodist pastors can officiate at same-sex unions and also whether such ceremonies can take place at United Methodist churches. Right now, none of those things are sanctioned, although it is known that they have occurred.  


I am still learning and praying. I’m trying to understand how what always seemed clear to me is clearly different to many others. I wholeheartedly believe God is at work in this. I know He wants us love Him and to love our neighbors as ourselves. But what about sin? What is sin? What is holy? Whose interpretation of the Bible am I supposed to believe? The good news and saving grace for me is that I don’t have to agree with people to love them, work with them and care about them.

 Some of the things I’m working through are:
— all the things in the Bible that seem clearly forbidden but are freely embraced today (such as some of what women are allowed to do; and the punishments for wrong);
— the greatest commandment is to love God and to love our neighbor as ourself, but how does the second part of that play out if I and my neighbor disagree on whether something is harmful? I may think I’m acting in love, trying to protect them from what I see as the error of their ways. They may think I am judging.
— Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly.
— I’m also having to work through my fear that people I love and care about might not accept or understand why I believe what I believe. I want to be able to have conversations, which requires me to be clear, at least to myself, about what I believe and why. And I’m a slow, questioning learner, so a crash course won’t be much help, but the thought of starting over, reading the Bible from the beginning again and praying for discernment and clarity, seems overwhelming!!


It's that new covenant that came when God sent His son Jesus to die for our sins that many/seems like most of my friends say is why a committed, loving, same-sex union is acceptable to God. Jesus came to save the world, not to condemn the world. Who am I to judge? So, I don't judge. I can't say I agree either. Which to some means I'm being judgmental. 

I continue to pray for discernment and grace.

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