Unfinished

I'm grateful for an online Bible study on the 23rd Psalm that reminded me tonight that where I am right now may feel wrong, but that doesn't mean it's not right.

One of the hardest things for me to do this past week was accept the reality that I would not write a story for publication about the two Oklahoma anglers fishing in the Bassmaster Elite Series, which concluded its regular season with a tournament at Lake Tenkiller.

I'd been gathering information for such a story since March or earlier. A combination of my continued writer's block, perfectionism and procrastination, coupled with weather-related rescheduling of the tournament from May to September, led me to reluctantly give up my quest.

Writing the story would have been an act of faith. As it turns out, letting it go also required many acts of faith.

Acting on faith requires trust in the One in Whom I have faith. Through that process of trust, I am able to receive some valuable lessons. Many have been accompanied by texts of Scriptures and Bible reading plans, including the Psalm 23 study by Jennifer Rothschild, presented by Proverbs 31 Ministries, and others available on the YouVersion Bible app.

I felt like a failure who let down the people I had interviewed. I don't understand why I wasn't able to follow through on writing the story. It doesn't seem like it should have been that hard. Yet, it's always been hard for me to write.

And this time, apparently, it just wasn't what I was being called to do.

In my mind, it doesn't seem like spending more time reading the Bible, praying and learning to respond to God's Word with acts of kindness, service and compassion should have kept me from writing the story.

Bible reading plans, the Psalm 23 study and today's daily devotionals from Proverbs 31 Ministries tell me otherwise.

"I always think I must be more, do more, serve more, give more. More, more, more! I assume Jesus must want so much more from me to work a miracle in my life, when He just needs me to immediately obey the small stretch He’s asking me to do," wrote Shala W. Graham, drawing from the text of Luke 6:10, where Jesus only asked a man to stretch his withered hand for it to be healed.

I can trust my Good Shepherd to lead me where I need to be. When I stray, he rescues me.
I can trust my God to not ask me to stretch beyond my limits.
I can trust God to take care of what is beyond my limits.

Where I am right now doesn't really feel wrong. It's just not where I hoped or wanted to be. I wanted to feel the sense of accomplishment that comes from helping to tell someone's story.

Instead, I'm part of a story that continues to be written by the hand of God. And I am grateful.