An unexpected look back at 2010-2019

While I was pondering questions to help me close out 2019, my thoughts drifted for a moment to a mental survey of the decade 2010-19.

My first thoughts were incredibly sad:

-- It was the decade my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. He had what appeared to be successful surgery, and then died a year later, in October 2011, after more aggressive cancer was found in other parts of his body.
-- It was the decade my sister-in-law was diagnosed with cancer and died about two years later, in July 2015.
-- So many other people, including church friends, also faced life-threatening diagnoses. Too many have died.
-- It was also the decade my husband rescued me from the biggest mistake of my life. I had emergency surgery that led to removal of part of my colon, followed by three months with a colostomy before I could be put back together. I was laid off from the job I had held for 34 years.
 
In many of these, circumstances that could have been horrendous yielded blessings beyond measure.

The blessings are easiest to see in my personal crises: my husband ultimately forgave me and we have renewed our commitment and grown in our love and support for each other, celebrating our 37th anniversary in September; I've had no negative after effects from that major and, at the time, potentially life-threatening medical event; my layoff included several months' notice so I could prepare (and clean off my desk!), along with a decent severance package; and we were in a financial situation that allowed me to not have to get another job, leaving me time to travel with my husband and increase my efforts to be of volunteer service to family members, church and in other ways.

Admittedly, it's harder to find the blessings when loved ones face daunting diagnoses, especially when they are followed by agonizing treatment and still result in the person's death. The truth is, I think some of those will never make sense this side of heaven. Perhaps through the combination of growing older and living through these heartaches, we learn to consistently lean on God and to treasure each moment with our loved ones. I'm grateful that I have increasingly become willing to spend more time reading and studying God's Word, praying and listening for His guidance. Everything God offers has always been available to me; it's just harder for me to accept it if I don't take the time to seek Him, know Him, listen to Him and trust Him.

There were also amazing bright spots:

-- My nieces and nephews welcoming more children into our extended family.
-- Mom celebrating her 80th birthday, surrounded by family and friends, at a party at her church. I think it's also cool that mom was able to move to a nice senior apartment in town without having to give up the family farm.
-- I was able to go on an expenses-paid European cruise before getting laid off.
-- Post layoff, I've been able to travel throughout the U.S. with my husband, with highlights including upstate New York; the Columbia River between Oregon and Washington; great beach resorts; a fresh view of Washington, D.C.; and a poignant visit to Puerto Rico.

The period wound down with Gene and I shuffling to make arrangements to accept a last-minute (one month to prepare) opportunity for a bucket list trip: fishing for peacock bass on the Amazon River in Brazil. After all of our critical arrangements -- passports, flights -- came together in just over two weeks, the trip had to be canceled because of too much rain in the rainforest.

Thankfully, the cancelled Amazon trip became one more opportunity to count our blessings and be grateful. I'm learning that even when we make an investment of time and money toward something that doesn't work out, that doesn't mean it's wasted. Some of our best experiences have come when we acted spontaneously. Although this one didn't work out, we now have valid passports and a new hunger for the kind of trip we never really thought possible. Now we know it is.

These are just recollections that came to mind without looking back at the calendar or my writings during those years. I'm sure many others will come to mind after I post this.

I'll add that I'm grateful for the link I saw on Facebook that listed 10 questions for looking back, to end the year intentionally. I didn't answer those questions in this essay, but they shaped it nonetheless.
Writing about the decade and the past year gives me hope as I prepare to greet 2020 and the 2020s.