Ending the year intentionally

Yes, I followed this guide, attributed to Daisy U and shared by a friend on Facebook. https://nosidebar.com/intentionally/

She said I could end my year intentionally, like she did. "Just block out a half hour or so during the holiday season, pick up something to write with, and ask yourself 10 questions." I did it using my computer.

These responses don't seem complete to me, but I can't think of what to add. So maybe this is it!

1. What makes this year unforgettable?

I celebrated my 60^th birthday at the home of Gene’s fishing buddy Hal on our way to the Bassmaster Classic in Knoxville, Tenn. I love that I had Gene buy me a shirt with a slogan by an angler who won a major tournament earlier that year at age 72. The quote: “Never accept that all your greatest moments are in the past.” (Rick Clunn)

2. What did you enjoy doing this year?

The things I enjoyed most were traveling with my husband; time with my mom and siblings and their families; and church-related gatherings, studies, service and singing.

Among our travels, Gene and I went to Galveston, Texas; Knoxville via Pickwick Lake; Washington, D.C.; my first trip to Lake Fork in Texas; a return visit to upstate New York including the St. Lawrence River; and my first-ever visit to Oregon and Washington, when we were able to explore along the Columbia River. 

3. What/who is the one thing/person you’re grateful for?

I am most grateful for Gene and my mother. I am also extremely grateful for the rest of my family; my church friends at Goodrich and Whaley; my 12-Step friends; and the rest of my friends with whom I’m trying to do better about maintaining contact.

I’m grateful for Facebook which helps many of us stay in touch.

I’m especially grateful to God for his infinite mercy, love and grace and how he continuously works things for good, even when it’s not obvious to me in this life.

4. What’s your biggest win this year?

The questions that seem to want to know the one thing or the biggest or best don’t bring out my best response. I do better by answering in terms of what were some of my big wins (and on the previous question, what/who are some of the things/people for which I am most grateful)? 

My biggest win was reading the Bible every day, including the summer day my Bible App streak ended.  (Although I did not read Scripture on the app that day, I did read other materials that included Scripture.) Daily reading of Scriptures and related studies and devotionals helped me to keep my focus on God and His will for my life, even when I experienced my typical mood swings and bouts with frustration, negativity, disappointment and even momentary returns of depression.

5. What did you read/watch/listen to that made the most impact this year?

Bible reading plans on the Bible App. Lysa Terkheurst’s “It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way”; a study on Psalm 23. Sermon series by Pastor Desi at Goodrich UMC also led me to some helpful books on gratitude and the need for a soul reset and how to do it. 

6. What did you worry about most and how did it turn out?

I worried the most about what I was supposed to do and how to do it. I so often feel as if I just don’t know, even when I pray and try to listen for God’s answers. What I see time and time again is that there was no need to worry. When I center my life on God, He works whatever I can do for good. I know that and still it’s hard for me to let go of worrying.

I also worried about my appearance, including what my hair looks like, my clothes, my weight. That’s related to me worrying about what others think of me. I worry I will do something wrong or disappoint someone. God is continuing to show me I don’t need to worry about these things.

I worry about my family and friends, including relationship issues and health. I’m trying to channel more of these worries into prayers and positive action and support. 

7. What was your biggest regret and why?

One of my biggest regrets is that I did not write the story on the Oklahoma rookies on the Bassmaster Elite Series. That’s related to my regrets about not getting more organized and that I still procrastinate rather than act on so many things I would like to accomplish (such as getting rid of all this clutter and chaos in my home and life).

Also related to procrastination, I regret not being more diligent in getting a group of friends/former co-workers together to visit Paul; I was devastated that our gathering ended up being for his funeral. I'm sure there also were several other opportunities I regret letting slip by. 

8. What’s one thing that changed about yourself?

I think I was more honest. I also strived to be more gracious and forgiving to others. I think I followed through more on my intentions, although I still often came up short. I tried to be less self-focused. These all continue to be works in progress. In November, after more than a year with my bangs grown out, I had my stylist cut them again. And I got new eyeglasses.

9. What surprised you the most this year?

Writing this on the Sunday of their last game of the season: how disappointing the Dallas Cowboys football season was!

That I was depressed before our family’s Christmas. How could I feel depressed when so much is good in my life?

The realization that God has transformed me to enjoy traveling with and fishing with Gene. And the realization He also transformed Gene, to enjoy having me travel and fish with him.

10. If you could go back to last January 1, what suggestions would you give your past self?

Truly: Don’t worry. Trust God.