How does it happen that I don’t feel joy at 10 pm on Christmas Eve? Lord, please help me & forgive me. You know me better than I know myself. You sent Your son to save & redeem me. How I need You!
I want & think I need to express love & joy? But how? Maybe tonight it’s ok or right for me to stay silent with God. I am praying to know.
Looking for photos w/Gene added to stress; I guess it stirred memories, including of lost years with Mae & Michael. Then I ate a bunch of almonds, which didn’t sit well on my already upset stomach. I haven’t played any chords; I didn’t record a song; & at this point I’m pretty sure I won’t.
I’m grateful it’s OK to just let everything go & sad it’s necessary. I’m disappointed with myself & so very grateful that God’s grace, by my faith in His Son, is sufficient to cover my many sins & shortcomings. I pray for God to help me focus on Him in faith & love; to come & adore Him & to rejoice that my Lord & Savior came to save me! Love came down & dwelled with us on Earth to become the payment for our sins & to restore us to a right relationship with God. Alleluia! Joy to the world! Thank You, God!
(Later I shared a beautiful song shared by a friend on Facebook; and then I recorded my rough guitar rendition of Silent Night, although I don’t think I’ll be sharing it any time soon. I still don’t know if I feel joy. I do feel peace. Acknowledging that I feel peace may have opened the door to joy. Regardless & above all, I am grateful & I praise God!)
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