The writer keeps trying to break through. Here I sit again, the result of listening to myself think as I was driving home and in a couple of other "waiting" moments today -- and concluding I had something I wanted or needed to write.
I close my eyes. I can sense the mental wheels spinning, grinding, churning, grating. It's a laborious sound and feel. Certainly this much effort should produce something good. Shouldn't it?
As I get ready to spring into April, am I on the brink of a breakthrough?
Do I just need patience?
Do I need more discipline? More acceptance? More spontaneity? More faith? More of the same?
Am I the way I am because that's how God made me and wants me to be, or is it because I'm lazy and undisciplined and don't make the effort to be all He could have me be?
As Holy Week turns to Maundy Thursday (with a worship service I will be able to attend) and Good Friday (an observance I won't be able to share at church), maybe these are thoughts I need to ponder.
I think I am on the brink of a breakthrough. I look forward to seeing what's on the other side.