For at least two days now, smiles have come easily. The song is back in my heart and often on my lips as I drive or even as I ride the elevator or walk down an otherwise vacant hallway.
So, what changed? I could say it's that my husband took my car to get some warranty work done (at 35,800 miles!), and a dealership's service department did it for him, while a different dealership's service department (where I bought the car) told me two weeks earlier there was nothing wrong with it.
I could say it's that something has changed in the atmosphere, and whatever was causing the really bad drainage, coughing, sneezing and ITCHING is gone, taking with it a cloud of frustration and misery.
I could say it's that I've adjusted to my bifocals, and they're no longer driving me nuts. But that would be a lie! The truth is, I still don't like my bifocals and haven't taken the next step to get that rectified. But these past two days, it hasn't been a problem just to reposition my head or view. The house is still a mess, I've got a ton of laundry waiting to be done and who knows what else that I've been putting off. But for this moment, those things are not stressing me out.
So, again, what's different?
I think the allergies/atmosphere may be the biggest physical factor, but just as important a fact is that even during many almost depressing days of April, I did not lose faith, quit praying or fail to look for the silver linings. Fleeting moments of peace and joy helped keep hope alive until some of the fog and confusion cleared.
For today -- this moment -- I'm singing, smiling and praising instead of whining, complaining and distressing. I never know how long the clarity will last, but I'm so grateful when I experience it. But I'm even more grateful to know and truly believe that God loves me and delights in me and is with me in those days that seem so dark and cloudy.
I'm thinking April's clouds were the seeds for showers (and maybe some storms) that will lead to a beautiful May filled with bouquets of blessings and a garden of grace-filled moments.
I pray to live in such a way that all the glory and praise always goes to God.