Over and out

In honor of my 34 years in the newsprint biz at The Oklahoman, I wore black and white. But unlike the "read all over" riddle, it's just over for me. It's over and I'm out. It was a good day. I have great memories and no regrets. I don't think this is how I'm supposed to feel upon being laid off, but it's how I am. Grateful and blessed. And eager to see what's next. 

Time will tell whether I'm still a professional journalist. This post is evidence I'm still a writer and journaler. I can't not at least occasionally write in an attempt to express and share what I observe in life. 

For too long I poured too much of my heart and soul into a job. It wasn't all the company's fault. I sometimes was aware that I should be volunteering those extra, unpaid hours to a charity or worthy cause rather than a business. But it was hard to let go of old habits. 

For many, many years, it seemed like an acceptable cause. But somewhere and somehow, that changed. And still I couldn't let go. 

So God made the decision for me. He prepared and provided for me. 

Many people have told me the best is yet to come. I remember writing that as I made the transition from religion editor to copy editor. That was a much more difficult transition than this seems to be. I'm aware that each transition can provide a foundation for the next. And so, I feel ready. 

Grateful. Blessed. Ready. And believing, with God as my guide, the best is, indeed, yet to come. 

Time is running out

I'm down to the final week at work, and it's as if I'm on deadline and still have no idea how I want to write this story. 

I want people to know how grateful I am for the opportunity to work there these 34 years. God blessed me with great co-workers and experiences. How do I say thank you? Time is running out. 

God has given me the words and actions in the past, and I'm trusting He will again, in His time, which may or may not be before I walk out of the office Friday as a former employee. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Matthew 6:33

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well. 

Colossians 3

14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

With regards to regrets

No regrets. 

That would be my goal as I wind down these final two weeks of my 34 years at The Oklahoman. 

I don't think I will achieve it at face value. 

I may, however, be able to claim it through gifts of acceptance and grace. 

In this and all things, I'm praying to know and do God's will, to His glory. 

What's that sound?

As I close the page on September, 

I find myself trying to remember...

So many highlights of 34 years ...

As the end of an era draws oh-so near .....

(Sweet music of life: To hear it! To share it!)

I posted that on Facebook as I was getting ready to leave the office today, Friday, Sept. 30. 

My termination date is Oct. 14. I'm down to the final two weeks. And the music of life is growing louder and louder, although the melody is far from clear. 

My mom commented that there are probably a lot of memories over 34 years. 

 

To which I responded: Yes, Mom. At least there should be. But my memory itself is faulty, which makes it tricky. Then when you add in my sentimentality, it gets even trickier!! 

It will be an interesting two weeks. 

I am grateful for the music of life that continues to accompany my days. 

About time

I got a speeding ticket this week. Now I'm trying to slow down. One more change. How many will there be?  

A lot of times the reason I exceed the speed limit is because I'm running late. But the timing of this ticket made me think I just need to slow down anyway.  Especially with my upcoming departure from my job and no plans to get a new job immediately, I don't need the expense of speeding tickets or higher insurance rates. And with more time on my hands, certainly I should be able to manage better and not be running late. 

So, I've been trying to practice driving 40 mph on city streets and 60 on the highway. And I've realized my bigger problem: These speeds seem very slow, especially when so many vehicles are racing past. 

I'm not sure how this will play out. I will admit that I was talking to my husband on the phone when I got caught speeding, and I later told him I didn't regret speeding as much as I regretted getting caught, which I blamed on being distracted by the conversation. 

But it still seems to make more sense to just try to slow down and enjoy the ride. Obey the speed limit. Breathe in the moments and be grateful. 

Knowing I had a lot I wanted to get done today, I really felt that disconnect in my brain as I finished showering this morning. I prayed, letting God know I really needed Him to fill in that gap or help me trust Him to guide me even as I felt clueless on what to do or how:  I do trust You. Please help me know and do Your will, to Your glory. 

At the end of the day, I choose to feel grateful and blessed. I choose to focus on the positive, even as all the rest of the stuff -- especially what I didn't get done -- wants to dominate my thoughts, attitude and spirit. With God's help, I will keep on keeping on. 

Lacking in nothing

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. —PROVERBS 3:5–6

I'm keeping on keeping on, trusting in the Lord, acknowledging Him privately if not always publicly. Even as I still wonder sometimes where those straight paths are. 

Actually, a bit of a convoluted stretch seems to finally be showing signs of leading me somewhere. It was one of those times where I felt I was making some positive choices and changes, but some of the unexpected results seemed less than ideal. 

Already, I think one of the lessons I needed to learn from that experience was to not get impatient or distracted by short-term results. 

I know I'm grateful for this moment when things seem a little more clear and less stressed. It feels peaceful. I thank God for that. 

It brings to mind something from today's First 15 devotional, which kept referencing the green pastures and still waters of Psalm 23. God is with me. The Lord is my shepherd. He leads me, comforts me and provides for me. I lack for nothing. 

And some words from the additional scripture reading, which was James 1:

2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.