Trusting God in the complexity of life

Life. Ups. Downs. Making sense of it is often hard for me. 

I posted this on social media: 

Even for someone without a job, it was nice to have two days to celebrate the start of the new year. Yesterday we went to church & fished; today we walked, watched football & did things around the house — and ate more black-eyed peas for good measure. 

I deleted this part: 

Tragically, a holiday weekend with great college football games ends with the suspension of the Buffalo/Cincinnati NFL game after Bills player Demar Hamlin collapsed after a hit & is hospitalized in critical condition, fighting for his life. 

It just didn’t seem right to tag that on a photo with Gene & I happy & smiling. 

Then I added this:  I do realize this black-eyed peas won’t do me much good if I don’t get busy working toward goals. Starting tomorrow! 😂 #newyear #goals

Lots of things seem complicated right now. Several of the messages I’ve sent have not received responses. I’m not prepared to pack for Florida. I’m not staying true to disciplines that keep me healthy. I’m not standing up for my needs & honoring my priorities. 

Pause. Pray. As anxiety grows, God reminds me: What He asks, He can always deliver. When He says, “Do not be anxious,” I can be confident that He’s got a way for joy & thanksgiving to replace my fear & worry. It is up to me to ask & receive His grace for the moment. And so I ask, in faith & w/thanks, to know & do Your will, to trust & obey & to give You all glory, honor, thanks & praise. 

Starting the year right

I was blessed to start the year with a few of my favorite things! Gene & I traveled to Gainesville to worship at Whaley with Mom & other family members, stopping beforehand at the farm to pick up the boat so we could head to the lake right after church. After getting the bass to bite a couple of chatterbaits & a few other lures, we headed to Lindsay for BBQ & black-eyed peas! A colorful sunset ended the daylight as we headed back to Norman. #startingtheyearright #newyear2023 #worshippingGod #bassfishing #favoritethings #sunset

Different & good (child at heart)

For many reasons I won’t explain tonight, the video Gene took for me Christmas morning was perfect to post on social media this final day of 2022. It’s of me sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace, wearing Christmas cat leggings & playing on my guitar & then singing along on “Silent Night” to the best of my ability, which isn’t too good. But I love that smile! It’s the smile of a little girl who knows she is loved. 

I thank God for His mercy, love, grace, blessings, opportunities, forgiveness, peace, power, joy, strength, salvation & all He is, does & offers! I pray that all, including me, who are in need of any of those or other good things will seek God first, casting our cares on Him, in faith & with thanksgiving, trusting & obeying & giving Him all glory, honor & praise, as we turn the page to 2023. New year’s blessings to all!  

#goodbye2022 #turnthepageto2023 #childatheart #childagain #christmascats #musicformysoul #differentandgood #glorytogod

Christmas peace & joy

 It was another full & fun Christmas Day. I didn’t put up the big tree this year because I thought we would be gone most of the week. Then we weren’t. So I got out a small tree & the “little animals” after the Christmas Eve communion & candlelight service last night. This morning, we made a pit stop in Gainesville at Mom’s (where I got a glimpse of Stormy!) on the way to see Mae & Michael in McKinney. Besides a great meal & presents, we enjoyed looking at photo albums passed down by Gene’s parents. Even though we didn’t go to church today, I was filled to overflowing with the spirit of God’s great love that Christmas is all about. It brings peace & quiet joy. I am beyond blessed & humbly pray that God will get me out of the way of me so I can share His light with others. #christmasjoy #christmaspeace #christmas2022

Finding my joy

How does it happen that I don’t feel joy at 10 pm on Christmas Eve? Lord, please help me & forgive me. You know me better than I know myself. You sent Your son to save & redeem me. How I need You! 

I want & think I need to express love & joy? But how? Maybe tonight it’s ok or right for me to stay silent with God. I am praying to know. 

Looking for photos w/Gene added to stress; I guess it stirred memories, including of lost years with Mae & Michael. Then I ate a bunch of almonds, which didn’t sit well on my already upset stomach. I haven’t played any chords; I didn’t record a song; & at this point I’m pretty sure I won’t. 

I’m grateful it’s OK to just let everything go & sad it’s necessary. I’m disappointed with myself & so very grateful that God’s grace, by my faith in His Son, is sufficient to cover my many sins & shortcomings. I pray for God to help me focus on Him in faith & love; to come & adore Him & to rejoice that my Lord & Savior came to save me! Love came down & dwelled with us on Earth to become the payment for our sins & to restore us to a right relationship with God. Alleluia! Joy to the world! Thank You, God! 

(Later I shared a beautiful song shared by a friend on Facebook; and then I recorded my rough guitar rendition of Silent Night, although I don’t think I’ll be sharing it any time soon.  I still don’t know if I feel joy. I do feel peace. Acknowledging that I feel peace may have opened the door to joy. Regardless & above all, I am grateful & I praise God!)

Christmas with the family

Always a good time. I just wish we had a little more of a spiritual, “reason-for-the-season” focus. 

Thoughts about the Longest Night

This will be a make-up post. The Longest Night was Wednesday, December 21. I’m logging this placeholder Dec. 23. I hope to fill in the details soon.