Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Beyond words

I can't seem to find the words to describe how grateful I am for so many blessings, but I know that I must try. It's mostly for me, out of some sense of faithfulness to God and what I feel he's calling me to do. It's part of how I'm trying to find out whether I still am a writer, or just a dreamer.

I need to not be on the computer tomorrow, Thanksgiving Day 2009. I need to be traveling to see family and then helping Gene work around the farm and of course also watch (or at least listen to) a football game or two. (It will be interesting to see whether I can stay away from FaceBook. UPDATE: I DID NOT STAY AWAY!)

The dream is to write brilliant, flowing, inspiring, descriptive, powerful prose. But the reality will be a list. A simple list. Not even a complete list. Definitely not listed in order of importance. Just a list of things I'm grateful for, as they come to mind.

For some reason, the first is my job. Two months ago, I desperately wanted to quit. I thought it would be miserable and dreadful forever after some changes that occurred. But it's not. Amazing. It may not seem like a miracle to others. But I prayed and prayed to know how to adjust to the changes, and what seemed impossible happened. The situation didn't change. I changed. I let God change me. I let God help me find the good in each day and ways to help rather than complain and focus on the bad. Thank you, God!!!!!

My husband. My parents. My sisters and brother and their families. My precious nieces and nephews. My aunts and uncles and extended family -- including the ones I don't stay in touch with as I should.

My church. (Maybe I should say churches, because I claim Mom and Dad's church, too). The pastors, leaders and the good people there. The choir directors, accompanists, musicians and vocalists. ALl who pray and give thanks and service.

Friends and guides along the path to recovery.

Friends in general. They are everywhere, and they sustain me!

My health. Yes, even at 50. Even as it seems sometimes that I'm feeling every ache and pain and seeing every line, wrinkle, bump and bulge. And I still can't remember the names and faces of so many people I should know by now.

Accumulating steps of progress.

Hope that springs eternal.

Of course there's more. But do I stay at the computer, or do I go talk to my husband, pet the kitty and then read some devotions and Scripture while pedaling my exercise bike? Sometimes the answers are easy.

So, that's all for now.

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